


Without You, Without Me

by frenchpressit



Series: Without You, Without Me [1]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mystery, Psychological Drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-08
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-01-08 00:02:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1125951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frenchpressit/pseuds/frenchpressit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>BLU gets a new Medic, Wilhelm, and he is welcomed by most of the mercenaries. He does his job well for someone younger than the previous Medics, but there are questions surfacing: what are the BLU Mercenaries hiding? Why was the previous Medic killed? Why were all of their previous Medics reported to have been killed <i>outside of the respawn area</i>? And why does it seem like everyone is hiding something from the new Medic? Questions seem to surface faster than the speed of their matching pairs of answers. How far will the Medic go to find out? Would he want to know if it means that he will learn <i>why</i> he is the only youngest Medic to work for Mann Co.? Why his memories are full of holes? How much price is he willing to pay to get the answers he seek? If the answers do begin to surface, is he willing to face the consequences?</p><p>Far as the questions go, he will eventually face the fact that <i>ignorance is truly a bliss</i>, and that finding out the truth in this case may actually really be the death of one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Train Station

  
  
  
Wilhelm the BLU Medic [ after haircut ]   


"Euhemerus?" The young German made his way through the halted train. His beloved white dove had flew out of his cage when the train had come to a abrupt stop. "Euhemerus? Vhere are you?" He was in his mid-twenties, his semi-long, platinum hair came down just around the nape of his neck, and it was bouncing around as he made his way through the almost empty corridors of the train. His eyes shimmered like a drop of sky blue paint as he searched around for his pet. "Euhemerus! Bitte--come to me." No use. His pet was nowhere to be seen, and just as he was about to check the next cart, he felt a tap upon his shoulder.

"Eh hem...iz this...what you were looking for?"

The young German found himself almost gasping his lungs out from being surprised by an unknown man. The man, as he turned quickly and saw, was wearing a blue balaclava and a pin-striped suit, and upon the edge of his lip hung a single lit cigarette. As the Medic's eyes followed the trail of smoke from the cigarette down to the male's hand where he held a cage, he saw--"Euhemerus!" The German greeted before looking at the stranger and giving him a nod, "Ja--I mean--yes, he is vhat I vas in search of. Zhank you very much!" He thanked before having Euhemerus' cage handed to him.

"Your accent...it's...French, yes?" The German asked as the Frenchman nodded and took a hold of the cigarette in between his index and middle finger to exhale a huge trail of smoke, "Oui, I am indeed French. And..." The Frenchman's currently dull blue eyes glanced up and down the shorter German. He was shorter than the suited man and was wearing oval-shaped and metallically thinly rimmed glasses. His attire? Well suited. White dress shirt, blue tie, creamy brown dress vest, tan pants which was tucked into his well shined and what it looked as though well taken care of black military boots. "...you must be our new Medic."

The young Medic smiled and nodded, "Ja. Zhat I am. And...you must be herr Spy?" The Administrator had told him on the phone that his future teammate, the Spy, would be greeting him at the station. The Medic automatically assumed and connected the dots that the Frenchman must have gotten tired of waiting and came into the train with the mission of tracking him down.

"Oui. Zhat I am. Now please, follow me Docteur." The Spy waved his hand, leaving the Medic in slight confusion, "Uh but mein stuff, vhat about zhem--?" His steps were hesitant but keeping up with the Spy so that he didn't get lost, "Your stuff have already been taken care of, zhey are in your room and you are not...so I will take you there right now." The Medic's eyes were slightly rounded by how fast everything was already going and gave the Spy a nod, not wanting to bother him with anymore questions.

Their trip out of the train was quiet, only thing that made noise was the train as it was leaving and Euhemerus's wings beating from the scare. The young German kept his feet at a pace, the Spy was rather quick and footsteps close to silent, most likely due to his job. His face was hidden but the Medic could see the lines around the male's eyes. Maybe mid-30's or even late 30's. The Frenchman must have aged like fine wine and was hiding it all behind the balaclava. "...Iz zhere something you would like to ask, Docteur?"

The German ears began to heat up as his eyes met with the Spy's, "...Ah--nozing! Nozing at all--but um...may I ask vhat happened to mein previous successor?" The Spy didn't skip a beat, "He was killed. Murdered. Was found ripped to shreds just outside zhe base." The Medic's feet came to a halt, the news he had gotten was something the Administrator had forgotten to _mention_ to him. "Vhat? V-Vhat do you mean?" The Spy came to a halt and looked over at the Medic, "It was as if...the Medic was pulled apart by a monster or...somezing like zhat...hm...does zhat scare you, Docteur?" He took a step forward to greet the smaller male with a smile upon his face, eyes slowly closing to reopen and scan the appearance of their-- _his_ \--new Medic, "For a Docteur, you sure are quite young and...petite. Wilhelm. Oui? Zhat iz your name, iz it not?" The young Medic's mind was still buzzed from the news of what had happened, but that didn't stop him from giving the Spy a belated response, "Ja. Zhat iz indeed my name. And vhat iz your name?"

The Spy stood in front of the Medic, almost brushing away the questions with his eyes as he scanned and studied the Medic's features. "Spy?" He asked before having the pin-striped back as his answer.

Words weren't exchanged after the question went unanswered. The young Medic wasn't about to push an answer out of the Spy when he obviously was avoiding it without being coy about it.


	2. Hallway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new Medic for the BLU is introduced to the first of the nine mercenaries. Not really much to say about that, reading it will tell you which mercenaries though, if you don't want to then here is the TL;DR: 
> 
> Spy (from 1st chapter), Soldier, Engineer, Sniper and then Heavy.

The Medic wasn't introduced to many of the mercenaries upon arrival to the "Builders United League's" Base.

_The Spy was first, then the Soldier._

"SO YOU'RE THE NEW MEDIC!" The Soldier _shouted_ down and rather _onto_ his face. The Medic gave the loud American a rather calm set of blinks, his eyes dead fixed upon the Soldier's which hid behind the shadows of his helmet, "...yes, yes I am." He was slightly annoyed by the fact that the Soldier's loud outburst like _greeting_ startled Euhemerus, but thankfully due to the cage, he didn't fly away.

"HOPE YOU DON'T DIE LIKE THE LAST ONE! MAD NAZI SCIENTIST SHOULD HAVE DIED LIKE A MAN IN THE FIELD BUT HE DIED JUST OUTSIDE THE BASE! USELESS NAZI I TELL YOU!" This was already something the young Medic was offended about. He might not have known about his previous successor's death but he knew one thing about him. The man was anything _but_ a Nazi. How did he know? Because he had been from time to time, trained by the man along with the other trainees.

"Let me help you vith your misinformation, Dr.Klaus vas not a Nazi. He vas not a scientist. And last but not least, he vas anything but _mad_." The younger Medic knew about his previous successor, there was a reason he took a job at the BLU and not the RED. He thought and hoped that he would be able to work with his mentor--though he knew that if he was being summoned, it meant that the older male had either retired or _the worse_. He wanted to learn more but, no one told him that he was dead. That was until the Spy had told him. Mann Co. only cared about their needs, and as long as they got what they wanted, it was a done deal and nothing else mattered.

"Oh yeah? Is that so? And what are you going to tell me next?" He approached the new Medic, closing the distance between the two with just couple of large steps. His index finger darted and placed itself upon the German's chest, pressing upon it while _looking_ into his eyes, "That you're not a Nazi too?" The young Medic wasn't fazed by the question but before he was able to give a straight and confident answer, he was interrupted.

"John, you pickin' on the new Doc already?"

_Then the Engineer._

So John was his name. Medic thought to himself before seeing the Soldier being pulled back by the Engineer. "ENGIE! Well this here Doc was giving me a sure lesson of our Doc! Saying that he was no Nazi!" This got a head shake from the Engineer as he gave a chuckle, "John. Klaus wasn't a Nazi an' you know that."

Soldier stood up tall after dusting and straightening his uniform, giving him a nod, "Of course I know that. I just...wanted to see how the new Medic would react is all." The Medic looked at the Soldier in disbelief. How childish was that? Though, he was to blame too for falling for such a cheap trap. His eyes traveled down to the floor, looking at the tiles before seeing a gloved hand being offered for, what it seemed to be a greeting shake.

"Nice to meet you Doc. Ah'm this here BLU's Engineer. An' you've already met him but John there's the Soldier." The Engineer gave him a charming smile, a rather gentler man than the Soldier by a long shot. "Nice to meet you, Engineer." His blue eyes looked up and onto the Engineer's goggles, giving him a smile before taking his hand to shake.

"Well Ah'll be, you sure are quite young to be a Doctor." The Engineer slowly parted the handshake before _facing_ their new Medic. The younger Medic couldn't tell where the Texan was looking due to the goggles, but it was obvious that the man was looking at his physical appearance. "You must not judge a man by zheir looks, Engineer. Vhat vas zhat American saying? Don't judge a book by its paper?" The Soldier was strangely quiet after the appearance of the Texan, but he kept up the statue like act while the Texan let out a chuckle and tipped his orange helmet to acknowledge the statement, "Well stated Doc, book by its page, that works too. By the way, name's Dell Conagher, in the Base, you can call me Dell, but out in the field, Engineer is the way to go." At least some people were giving him names, the Medic smiled at brief introduction, "My name is Wilhelm. Of course zhat is off zhe field."

"Well Will. Nice to meet you, but Ah only came here to get John for the plans for tomorrow, so would you like for us to take you to your room?" Medic only shook his head, "Nein--I mean...no, I have zhe Spy to take me to my room." Where as he thought it was obvious, this left the Engineer and the Soldier to look at the young Medic with a slight look of sympathy, "That Snake's been long gone! The moment I approached you, he disappeared like the Spy he is! He's never around for long. I'll say this now; he's different from the previous Spy!" The Medic's brows rose from the statement, taking mental notes on the hint that the Spy too was only a recent replacement of sort. He then turned to look back at the Soldier and the Engineer.

"Vell...it seems zhat...zhen...I am indeed in need ov help to get to my room." The Medic looked a bit lost, it was going to take him awhile to get used to his new environment, even though it was almost just like the Mann Co.'s Base where they were in a way like the products themselves, being trained and worked to work for either BLU or the RED base. Only thing different was that now, they were in the field working with teammates and not just amongst your own class to master and get best at your own skills.

"Is that th' new Doctor?"

_Then the Sniper._

The Engineer's head turned as a long-legged, aviator and outback hat wearing man approached them with a grin upon his face, "Well what do you know, looks like we've got ourselves a guide for our new Doc here. Snipe? You want to help us out here?" The taller male only tilted his head as he finally stood beside the Texan, looking down at him before looking at the Medic, "Heh, what y'u know, someone with th' same height as y'u Truckie." The Engineer shook his head with a grin before looking back at the Medic, "Well Doc. Seems like our Sniper here will help you out. John and Ah'll be seeing you at breakfast tomorrow." Sniper only tilted his outback hat towards the Medic before giving a wave at the Soldier and Engineer as they left the room, "See y'u mates in the morning." As the two left, the Medic found himself facing the Sniper rather close to the face. Their noses were barely hair strands apart before having the Sniper back up and cross his arms, "Y'u seem quite young to be a Medic. Y'u sure y'ur not a Nurse or somethin' mate?" Before the Medic was able to answer, the Sniper added another word, "...not to mention y'u look a bit...girly if y'u ask me..."

"Vh-Z-ZHAT IZ AN INSULT! I HAVE MORE KNOWLEDGE ZHAN A LITTLE NURSE! NOT TO MENTION HAVE ALL MEIN MALE PARTS TO PROVE ZHAT I AM INZEED A MALE!" Medic quickly outraged. His shaggy bleached out gold like hair was long to his shoulder, but that was because due to his long years of training in the Mann Co. training facility. When he was called for, they didn't have much to care about his physical appearance, only to ship him on and off so that the teams were balanced. Sure he was petite, but that didn't mean that he couldn't fight. He was trained to be a healer and a battle medic, amongst other things which he held knowledge and specialty towards.

Sniper only raised his hands to defend, slowly shaking his head, "Woah--no need to get worked up abo't that mate. It's a compliment!" It was the only thing Sniper could think of instead of stating that he wasn't thinking when he was previously talking. "Ah mate..." He offered the young Medic his hand, "...sorry if it bothered ya. Name Benjamin by the way. Benjamin Smith." The Medic's sudden burst of emotions fumed like a smoke from a ruin, his eyes glancing down to look at the offered hand, "...ach..." He growled before straightening up and getting himself fixed and straight before taking the Sniper's hand and gently shaking it. He wasn't going to lose his professional looks yet, nor was he ever going to, "...nice to meet you Benjamin. My name is Wilhelm Ehrlichmann. You can just call me, Wilhelm or Medic--vhich ever iz most comfortable vith you." The Sniper only gave the Medic a smile, glad that the male wasn't too angry as he was before.

"Ah mate, 'M real sorry 'bout what I said though." As the handshake came to an end, the Sniper pointed at Euhemerus, "An' 'Am guessin' that the lil' guy's y'ur Dove? Like Klaus with Socrates?" Medic gave him a nod, holding Euhemerus close before running his fingers through his dark locks, "Ja, he iz Euhemerus...and I must admit. I haven't gotten a hair-cut in ages...your vords are a cutting reminder Benjamin..."

He really needed to get a hair-cut. Maybe he could get it done on his own; it couldn't be that hard to give yourself a hair-cut. Right?

"Well mate! I'll take y'u to y'ur room an' help y'u find other places and w'ot not." That's when the young Medic quickly realized once again that, he didn't even know where the bathroom was, or the toilet, hell even his room.

"Ah--danke Benjamin--I mean--zhank you..." The young Medic cursed to himself for mainly speaking in German while back in training. It mixed his words up to be in German and English. Mann Co. had a strange business of keeping one class of one race. Medics were all of German descendents, Snipers were of the Australian outback, Spies were of French and so on with the other mercenaries. Medic personally didn't know about this, but it was how he concluded in his mind by connecting the dots. All the Medics he had worked with back in training were 100% German.

The Sniper, however, found the slip of the German tongue amusing whilst the young Medic was obviously embarrassed by this. As much as the Medic wanted to keep a professional look, his slip of German would prevent that from becoming perfect, "Ah it's alr'ght mate. Klaus was just like you." Sniper's eyes softened from the mention of the previous Medic, his eyes looking into the young Medic's briefly before looking away and raising his hand up to rub the nape of his own neck. He cleared his throat while the Medic, looked at him in curiosity. Was there something going on between the Australian and his previous successor?

"Well. We best be off mate, that is if we want y'u to get a good night sleep before tomorrow's match!" Sniper quickly wiped the previous look from his face and turned away to show the rest of the base to their new Medic.

"..."

The young Medic knew that he, the Sniper and the Spy were all of the Support Class, which meant that they were to be working on the same level of supporting the rest of the team, but already did he feel left out of the loop. The Spy had practically ignored him and left him alone, and the Sniper--well he was obviously hiding something that he had with the previous Medic. Something, Medic hoped, that maybe he'll come to knowledge of in the future, along with the Spy's name. That is, if anyone knew his name.

"And this here is Klaus's room." Medic's eyes blinked several times before finally focusing on the room's door. He had breezed his mind through the kitchen, showers, gym, restroom and the living room, that was until they slowly approached the three hallways which lead to each of the classes. The offenses were on the west wing, defenses were on the north and the supports were on the east along with the infirmary. Though, it was the way that Sniper introduced the room that made him tilt his head.

"I mean, it's y'ur room now. My room is obviously the one that has the Sniper insignia and the other is the bloody Spook's." Medic glanced over at the door which held the Spy insignia, looking at it before looking at his own, "So...my room is both ze infirmary and my room?" Sniper nodded, "Yeah, but y'u got a personal livin' space like the rest of us lots do inside the infirmary. Y'u just got to get pass two doors is all." It wasn't much of a hassle, but at least it meant that he didn't have to leave his future patients too far from his reach.

"Danke herr Snip--I mean...ach..." Medic gave out a groan of frustration before shaking his head and looked at the Australian to repeat what he was about to say in English before feeling a hand upon his shoulder, "Don't mention it mate. Just between y'u and me. It was a real honor for me to work with Klaus. He was...he was a real good mate...and...I already find it an honor to work with y'u, Wilhelm."

Sniper's eyes were now hidden behind those tinted aviators, the light hitting it in just the perfect position from where the shorter male stood, making it impossible for him to really figure out what those eyes were saying, but it wasn't something he was going to get out of his way to really find out. What went on between him and the previous Medic stayed between the two, and the young Medic wasn't going to force his way into their now obvious and presently terminated personal relationship.

"Danke herr Sniper..." Medic didn't know why but, he didn't do what he was previously meaning to do. Translate what he was going to say, but the moment he had said it, Sniper gave him a grin and only gave a light squeeze upon his shoulder, "...no problem mate. I'll be seein' y'u tomorrow then. Hope y'u get some good night sleep. Y'u'll be needing it."

Sniper only lingered his touch upon the Medic's shoulder for a little while longer before eventually departing it and making his way into his room with a wave of farewell for the night. Medic followed the Sniper's example and made his way into his room--or rather the infirmary.

Upon entering it, Wilhelm placed Euhemerus upon the cabinet by the entrance, and then he met--

"DOKTOR! YOU ARE THE NEW DOKTOR--DA?"

_The Heavy_.

The young Medic's body jolted from the sudden heavy roar like greeting. He wasn't expecting anyone to be in the infirmary, but there he was. A man who was at least triple to quadruple his size, and from the looks of it, most of his body mass were muscles. Medic only blinked before pointing at himself, "M-Me? Ja...zhat I am..." That was all it took for the giant man to ditch the broom in his hand before running up to the smaller male and giving him a rather gentle bear hug, "AH T'IS GOOD DAY! VHEN KLAUS DIED HEAVY VAS SO SAD!" Medic, as he had not expected, was raised away from the comfort of the infirmary's tiles and into the Heavy's warm bosom.

As Heavy held him close in a heartwarming hug, it was cut short as the man then rather lifted him into the air like a ragdoll to get a better look at him, "Heavy's name is Yuri Pavlov!" _How fitting_ , the young Medic thought to himself. Seeing as how the larger man had already welcomed him with such joy as a dog would when their owner has returned from a long day at work. "Ah...nice to meet you...herr Yuri...vould you be kind as to...letting me down?" Medic looked down at the tiles as the Heavy noticed just how much he had manhandled the petite male already, "Sorry Doktor. Vhat is Doktor's name?" As he was gently lowered back onto the tiles, Medic straightened his shirt free of creases before looking up at the larger male, "Wilhelm. Wilhelm Ehrlichmann. May I ask, vhat vere you exactly...zoing in mein office?"

Heavy only looked down at the tiles as if he was searching for something, "Yuri vas cleaning office! So Doktor could come to a cleaner office!" Medic's eyebrows rose in slight confusion, "Clean? I vas only alerted about mein...position, two days ago. Vhat vould be zhere to clean?" He knew that his previous successor was a very clean and neat man, there shouldn't be anything to clean due to that. It wasn't like the five years of separation would have changed the previous Medic, would it have? He might have only seen the man briefly from time to time, but it was enough for the young Medic to gain the admiration for the man. Classy, professional, and most of all: organized.

Heavy's eyes looked at the young Medic for a while, looking at him with a loss of word, not wanting to tread on a field that may turn this first impression to be a bad aftertaste. "Ah...Doktor Klaus's belongings! Ve clean them. To send them to family! That is vhat I vas doing! Yuri made mess vhile doing so. So Yuri cleaned his mess. Not Klaus's mess. Yuri's mess!" With that explained, Medic's eyes just calmed with a smile. Heavy too seemed rather calmed after being calmed with such expression.

"Ah...zhank you kamerad. Vell, I vould like to clean zhe rest of zhe place on my own. I vill see you tomorrow, ja?" Medic gave Heavy a pat upon his chest, taking a look up at him before walking forward to give a light pat upon his back.

Heavy wasn't stupid, he got the signal. He gave Medic a smile, "I vill see you in the morning Doktor."  
Though as the heavy machinery wielder left the infirmary, the young German didn't feel alone yet. He felt as though that there was someone else around him, but no matter how much his eyes began to scan around the room, he couldn't figure it out, and was Klaus or Yuri a smoker?

"...I must be very tired..."

He was, and he wasn't alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews would be lovely, comments would be lovely, I just want to know if there are people out there who enjoys this story as I do while I type it up. If you don't then, I am sorry, there are other great fanfics in this site that you can check out. You can easily ignore mine and check those out. But yes, Reviews and Comments would be still lovely.


	3. Bedroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Questions begin to surface between the Medic the the two other Support Classes, meanwhile, Medic enters his first battle field.

The night was rather filled with helpless and strange sensation for the young Medic. He was upon his bed, but he felt as though that was restrained. He wanted to open his eyes to see what was going on but it was dark. _It must have been a dream, or a nightmare_. The young Medic's body twisted and turned, breathing heavily as his body heat began to rise, making him to--

"KLAUS!"

Medic's hand was reached out towards the ceiling, his heart beating faster than a rabbit's near death experience with a hunter. His eyes looked at the ceiling, pass his shaking fingers, then slowly over to his bedside to look over at his nightstand, "...ach..." He groaned at just how early it was. Only three in the morning and here he lied sweating as though he had come out from a light shower. It wasn't anything bad, it wasn't a nightmare, but it made him feel trapped and opened to new things.

"I...it vas just a dream..."

The young Medic muttered before slowly sitting up and feeling the sweat on his forehead and rest of his body cool, "...vhat...vas I...dreaming about?" His wondering thoughts didn't get far due to the sudden opening of his door. "Are y'u alright mate?"

It was the Sniper, the aviators absent; along with the outfit he had seen him in couple hours back. He was now wearing just his, what it seemed to be a baby koala patterned boxer, and wife-beater. Medic's face flourished red from the sight but quickly shook his head to cool it off, "J-Ja! Of course I am--h-how zid you hear me?" The older male approached with a solemn look upon his face, "..I'm a light sleeper, mate...didn't want to lose another Doctor..." He managed to give the young Medic a smile, "...and with Klaus's name bein' shouted out like that? It was...all reflex."

Before he realized, the young German found the Sniper sitting upon the edge of his bed, his hand placed over his forehead, "Y'u look like him y'u know...the younger version of ol' Klaus...just with really bloody bleached hair and longer is all." Medic's eyes glanced away, not being able to face the older male. "You and Klaus...vere very close...yes?" Sniper's hand slowly trailed down from the younger male's face and onto his hand, "Y'u have no idea mate..."

His older and previous successor was a single man, that much the young Medic knew. He didn't want to know much beyond that--maybe it was due to the fact that he was admiring him too much from a far. The previous Medic came to visit him and the other young trainees once a week, trying to get them ready for the field--sure he wasn't the only one. The RED had sent their Medic, Niklas, but that man wasn't clean--almost mad, he wasn't cool and calm like the BLU Medic was, so the young Medic came to dislike the RED Medic.

"...you miss Klaus, mate?" Medic only nodded without any sort of hesitation, "...Ich liebte ihn..." (I loved him) He whispered as Sniper's hand gave the smaller hand a squeeze, "...Ich liebte ihn sehr..." (I loved him very) It was then that the Medic found himself embraced by the taller male. A form of physical affection--he never received in his life. "Me too mate...I loved him too..." Medic knew that the Australian understood the basic German, at least about love.

The young Medic never had a physical interaction with anyone in his life, he was a virgin. He only admired and loved the older previous successor from afar, never close. The only time they had a physical contact was when the older Medic was showing him how things worked or was helping him with any of his researches. So a kiss? Was something new to him.

The Sniper, however, didn't hesitate to change that; his lip was upon the young Medic's as he slowly laid him down. Medic, himself, didn't push him away, only feeling the heat upon his body once again rise, "Nmn...B...Benj..." He gasped, his fingers shaking slightly before reluctantly, but gently, pushing him away, "...zh...zhat vas mein first..." He whispered, leaning into the pillow and looking up at the Sniper's face, "Oh mate..." He whispered before leaning in and placing a kiss upon the younger male's forehead, "...I'm sorry...bein' so quick...just...couldn't help m' self is all..." Medic felt the man's face rest against the crook of his neck, taking in a deep breath before slowly rolling off to the side to lie next to him, "...he was a busy man y'u know...was rare f'r me to ever lie in the bed with him...like this--I mean of course after sex but never without it."

Medic's face heated a roaring blush. He should have been comfortable talking about sex due to the fact that he was a Medic, but he wasn't, "...vould you stay vith me...? Just...just until zhe morning...?" He felt like a child asking such a request, but he didn't want to be alone, especially after what had just happened. Breathless, heat--he felt like was going to explode. It felt good but--he didn't want to feel restless or have the older male leave his side, "...bitte?"

With the younger male's face resting against his chest, Sniper couldn't help but to smile in relief, "...I'll stay mate..." his arm lying over the petit male's frame to pull him close as he eyeballed behind him to look at the window. The moon may be getting ready for sleep but it was there to light a silhouette. A silhouette without a physical body to support. "...won't leave you alone, mate..."

...

"PREPARE TO CAPTURE THE ENEMY'S INTELLIGENCE!"

The young Medic didn't want to get up when the alarm went off couple hours after he and the Sniper went to sleep. This level of sleep he felt was something that was long forgotten from his memories.

_The Pyro_.

"Nmmff mmff ff?" When the Medic then felt the tap upon his shoulder, his trance like state was disturbed to find himself being stared by a pair of eye goggles upon what it seemed to be a gasmask, "Ah--y-you must be zhe Pyro, ja?" The gasmask wearing mercenary nodded, tilting his head from one side to the other as he looked at the German in such level of curiosity, "...eh...forgive me mein freund, but uh...vhat...zid you just ask me?"

"Ye' alrightie boyo?"   
_Quickly to be followed by the Demolition Man_.

When he found a rather thick Scottish accent retaliate a question back to him, the Medic looked off to the side to see an eye-patch wearing male, holding what it seemed to be a grenade launcher in one hand while holding a whiskey bottle on the other, "...vas...?" He was slightly confused by this but as the male approached he quickly connected the dots. This was the man in charge of the demolition, or as they called him back at the training camp: Demoman. "It's what he ask laddie. Pyro don't really speak much ye' know, without th' blasted mask o' his." Pyro looked over at Demo before looking back over at the Medic, still waiting for an answer, "...I...I'm alright Pyro. Danke for asking me."

Pyro seemed like someone Medic couldn't read, not only due to the fact that the man was wearing a gasmask, but also because Pyro was now out stretching his arms towards him. It confused him but it quickly cleared up when Pyro hugged him, muffling happily at the answer and continuing to muffle on. "Mmmff mfff mff! Mfff mff!" He was laughing, the Pyro was now laughing while hugging and rather holding his small form off from the ground. Now wasn't this a familiar feeling?

"FIVE!"

"PYRO! LET DOKTOR DOWN!" Heavy's voice roared as Pyro then quickly placed Wilhelm down and went back to his place--almost like a well-trained dog. Except this time, Heavy, whom Medic thought was like a dog from knowing him so far, was telling Pyro what to do.

"FOUR!"

Medic then flinched slightly from the quiet hum his Kritzkrieg began to make. He was fully charged, and Yuri glanced over to give him an approving smile before looking back at the gate. As the Medic then began to look up, he felt a stare daggering into him.

"THREE!"

His peripheral vision caught a view of another. He didn't look, but he knew who he was.

"TWO!"

The Medic quickly fluttered his eyes closed before focusing on the gate once again, his heart beating faster from the adrenaline.

Why was the Spy looking at him with such intense stare?

"ONE!"

What did the Spy want?

"FIGHT!"

The gate opened and Heavy fired his minigun away at the waiting RED mercenaries outside. With the support of the Kritzkrieg, it was easy clearing of the frontline, and the new Medic stayed close to the Heavy to keep the line moving.

"MEDIC!"

That was until his other teammates called for him. "SOLDIER!" He ran across the field, aiming his Kritzkrieg at the American before hearing another shout out, "DOKTOR!"

"PLEASE HEAVY! I VILL BE ZHERE SOO--"

"NO DOKTOR! SPY!"

That was the last thing the young Medic heard before feeling a sharp pain piercing his back--but not before hearing a painful groan follow.

Dying was new, and so was the respawn system. His DNA was placed in through the Mann Co. data base, if it didn't, then he would have died rather quickly as he had come in.

“…ach…”

The Medic could feel the pain of the light hitting against his eyelid; it wasn’t just that, the pain was all over his body. It felt as though that he was thrown out of a moving truck with all the pain but none of the wounds to prove it.

“Damn….*****…he…*****…used to this…right? I mean…*****…*****.”

“Get out of here Scout…you talk too much, you stupid boy…”

The unknown voice, words mumbled quietly to make out, it must have been the Scout, which the Medic had yet to meet. The second?

“Spy…?”

Medic called out but got no answer, not even a hand, but when he did open his eyes, he was greeted to the Sniper running into the spawn area. “Y’u a’right mate? The bloody RED Spook got y’u.” Medic was now face to face with the slightly breathless Sniper who was now kneeling before him, his hand holding his slightly smaller ones, “Snipe-“

“Benjamin. Call me Benjamin when we’re alone, Wilhelm.”

Medic’s eyes looked up to Sniper’s aviator before quickly averting them down. This was wrong. He was sure that the only reason why the Sniper was so close to him and so friendly with him was due to Klaus. Not him, but because of Klaus, but he didn’t have any other _friends_ in the BLU yet. Without friends, what will he do?

_You don’t need friends, you were fine alone when you were in training, remember?_

His cold blue eyes quickly shut as his mind spoke up. He wasn’t going to take this, he didn’t need this, “Danke Sniper.” He just muttered before picking up his Kritzkrieg and bolting out the door. He didn’t look back, he didn’t even glance, he just continued to run until he heard the frontline.

…

“Why are you doing this…hm? You zhink zhat he will love you back as the previous? Hm? Klaus iz dead, mon ami. Dead.”

“Go bite your fuckin’ tongue ya snake…”

Sniper stayed kneeling, feeling the presence of the Spy just behind him, hovering over him with that _smirk_ he knew that he always wore when he knew everything was going _his_ way. Fuck the Spook.

“So silly…mon ami. So silly.” The Spy’s smirk wiped off as his face turned into a visage of disgust, “It sickens me. You’re like a disgusting little stray who’s looking for his dead owner. Disgusting.” Sniper didn’t budge, instead he felt a weight upon his back, Spy’s shoes to be exact, “…just keep your mouth shut mon ami…zhat iz if you would like zhe same end as your beloved dead…though…you’ll be _permanently_ dead.”

Sniper’s breath held, swallowing hard before closing his eyes shut. Spy then took the silence and placed his cigarette upon the Sniper’s back, stepping it out with his shoes before giving a slight push so that the Sniper would be down on all fours. “…be careful mon ami. Stay away, if you know what iz good for you _and_ our lumineux petit étoile…(bright little star)” He then leaned down to growl his remaining warning into the Sniper’s ear, “…stay away…”

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, reviews would be lovely, or anything, critics, doughnuts, cakes, hell it could even be "pumpkin". I really hope that I do find people who enjoys reading this fanfic as much as I do having the time typing it up. Yay. Uh. Bye now. :I Chapter 4 will go up once I guess, I no where this fanfic is going.


	4. Bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With his first battle over and having to have met all of the BLU Mercenaries, it is finally a chance for the young Medic to finally make friends. Although, it doesn't really help when you are tempted by the curiosity of one and wondering if it hatred or maybe even something much more. Maybe it's the light at the end of the tunnel, giving the Medic the answer to his questions which just continues to pile up.

The match was over with a stalemate, it was a downer but at least neither of the team had won. Once returning to the spawn room, all the mercenaries began to put their weapons into their locker, chattering amongst each other while the Medic did his best to quickly go back to his room.

_Finally the Scout, again_

“Yo Doc! Tavish here and couple of us are going out for a drink, you wan’ta join?” As the Scout approached the Medic with the question, he couldn’t help but to think. He needed to make new friends before he and the Sniper goes off on hitting the wrong flag. “…A-Alright. Zhat sounds like a great idea…” He gave the Scout a smile, a mask, a lie.

“Great! So you’re goin’ to drive us there!” Medic didn’t mind that either, he knew that the Scout was trying to pull a fast one but what he didn’t know was that the German wasn’t much of a drinker. He preferred to stay sober compared to being intoxicated; it gave him advantages in all ways. “Zhat is fine vith me.”

Scout only grinned over at the Medic before looking over at the few others, “So who’s comin’ besides Tavish, me and the Medic?”

“Hudda mmmph…” Pyro shook his head and began to head back towards the Merc’s bedrooms, clearly stating that he was blowing off the drinking plan. “Eh, Pyro never joins us anyways—anyone else?” Scout questioned while the Medic on the other hand was anxious as he felt two heavy stares upon him. He knew where they were darting from, it was both Sniper and Spy, what was going on? Sniper he understood, but Spy--?

“I will join zis gathering, mes amis…”

Medic’s ears perked upon the volunteering from the Spy while Soldier and Engineer both agreed to go along. Sniper on the other hand waved his hand lazily before heading towards the direction in which Pyro had headed, “’m goin’ off t’ bed mates…am tired…” Medic’s eyes blinked several times in curiosity, looking at Sniper’s back as it got further, but not before noticing the small burnt mark. It wasn’t like Sniper had died that day, did he get into a small scrimmage with the enemy team? Or maybe even, their own?

“Yuri will go too. Yuri wants to drink in the celebration of new Medic.” Heavy’s voice broke the trance in which the Medic was in, making it stay that way as the Scout then placed his arm over his shoulder to pull him towards the garage.

“Alright, Doc, let’s head out!”

Everything was going too fast, but this was good right? Making friends?

_It's so good to be alone; oh I need to be alone. Oh I hate to be alone. It's so good to be alone._

…

The drive to the bar was loud and cheery, there was Spy sitting on the passenger’s seat, right next to Medic’s. Scout, Soldier, Demoman, Heavy and Engineer were all sitting in the back, laughing and talking jolly of how today’s battle was—even if it was a stalemate.

“…” Both Spy and Medic on the other hand, were quite the opposite, making the front half of the catering van to be dead silent compared to the back half.

The silence was thicker than blood, and from the slight irritation of his hair brushing against the nape of his neck, the Medic blurted out a question to spark a conversation, “Do you know how to cut hair, Spy?”

Spy’s eyes didn’t budge to even look over at the Medic, instead he muttered carelessly, “Cut hair? Non, but the Soldat does.” Did the Spy hate him? If so, why did he hate him? Medic didn’t know why but if he had to categorize his two other Support Classes was that they were the complete opposite of each other. Sniper cared about him too much while the Spy didn’t even care to look at him; it didn’t help with the fact that Spy rarely needed him in the field for he was able to take care of himself by disguising at the enemy teammate.

“…oh, alright, danke.”

Medic glanced up at the back mirror to look at Soldier, who now was trying to do a handstand, in a moving vehicle.

“Pourquoi? Are you trying to cut your hair?”

Spy’s question quickly got Medic’s eyes to revert back to the street, “Oh! Yes. I am. It bothered me in the field today and I’ve been meaning to cut it—“

“I will help you.”

“Vas--?!”

“I will help you cut your hair.”

Medic’s eyes glanced over at the Spy, making it subtle as possible, and just as he thought the Spy wasn’t looking over at him at all. Why was Spy like this? He was beyond legible; he made Pyro look like a picture book, “…you vill?” Don’t get the young Medic wrong, it wasn’t as though that he didn’t _want_ to get a haircut from the Spy but, the French didn’t seem to fond of him enough to make this situation realistic to his eyes.

“I know of someone with ze talent…he is…quite ze artist.” Medic’s eyes relaxed as it began to make sense. _Of course_ Spy wasn’t going to do it, the man practically ignored his existence. The Frenchman may look at him constantly from a far but the Medic had concluded that it was out of pure annoyance or maybe even of other negative reasons. _Why did the Spy put so much space between the two of them?_

“Zhank you…”

The final half of the drive was silence clouding over the Medic and the Spy, not that it stopped the rest of the mercenaries from causing a ruckus in the back.

…  
“AND YE’ KNOW WHAT LAD!? I’M GOIN’ T’A WIN AN’ I’M GOIN’ T’A BLOW YOU INTO SMITHEREENS!”

The drinking had become a full blown out drinking contest as the Demoman and Soldier began to get at each other’s throat on who can drink the most. Not just the two, they were drinking for the pride of their home countries: Scotland and United States of America.

Soldier was waving his pants around now, placing it around his head and tying it as though he was wearing a headband, “I WILL CRUSH YOU CYCLOPS!!!!!” Several glasses of empty beer mugs fell onto the floor, crashing upon impact as the Soldier clumsily made his way up to the table to wave the beer pitcher before gulping it down.

While Soldier and Demoman were at each other’s throat, Scout was being taken care of by the Engineer. He had drunk one too many bottles of beer, more like just his second bottle being too much. After taking care of Scout’s minutes of glory in the toilet, Engineer escorted the Scout into an empty booth and laid him down to sleep, while he himself kept himself busy by watching over the rest of the mercenaries within the bar from afar. _Someone_ had to make sure that the American Flag patterned boxer stayed where they should.

While the tables roared with laughter and threats, and the booths relaxed into the night, the bar table itself was heavily draped with morbid silence.

“…how can you stand having a bear lean on you like zat…?” Spy asked as he smoked what it seemed to be his twenty-first cigarette, which the Medic had been counting with his peripheral vision. “Vhat bear do you speak of?” The Spy’s eyes lazed in boredom as he pointed at the Heavy who had fallen asleep while leaning onto the Medic, “…how cute…he must have fallen asleep while talking to you…”

Heavy’s snore sounded as though it was a humming chainsaw, except that it had even breaks of silence from the times he exhaled through his mouth to cologne the Medic’s shoulder with the smell of vodka. Since they had arrived at the bar, Heavy was busy telling the Medic the story of his life, telling him of how happy he was when he was hired by the BLU and how he and the previous Medic successors were all good friends of his, despite the facts that they were all deceased. Heavy’s story included how he befriended all the Medics, even the temporary ones that took over while they were getting their replacement. Sure they weren’t as great as the replacements were going to be, nor were they going to stay long to have a get to know, but they were still part of their team and Heavy did his best to build a bond with them.  
Sadly, as Heavy went onto tell his story with great joy and excitement in order to build the friendship bridge with the new Medic, the German was doing a terrible job building it with him to connect. He was unable to listen to everything the Russian was sharing with him due to the constant glimpse the Spy was giving him. They were all absolutely subtle, hidden, at least to a normal person it would look as though that he was minding his own business but to someone like the Medic, it was too obvious to ignore. Spy’s eyes were like daggers stabbing into him, they were impossible to just simply: _brush off_.

“…what horrible listener you are…”

The Medic felt his eye twitch from those words, why was Spy like this? He was a complete touch and go. Was there something the he had done that made the Spy treat him the way he was? If so, then what was it?

“Vhat…do you vant me?”

Heavy had been friends with the past Medics before him.

“Do you really want to know, Docteur?”

Heavy had been friends with the past nine _Medics_ before him.

“…yes, I do.”

“…that iz exactly, what I wanted to hear from you…Docteur….”

_You can only hold a smile for so long, after that it's just teeth._  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not wish to continue with my posting until I was sure that people were interested. I will take the kudos as a proof of some glimpse of eyes which is more than enough for my personal taste. I expected no one to read and might have wondered to drag the fanfic to my own taste.
> 
> Anyhow, thank you for reading. Reviews and critics would be lovely, but you don't have to.
> 
> Also, forgive the mistakes that are found throughout the fanfic. I was never a strong editor even in the college newspaper. This fanfic is also posted majority of the times really late into the night, so my mind is usually somewhere over the moon. If you have read so far without any complaints, I want to thank you for being patient with me for I won't be able to completely edit my fanfic until I am done, and even at the end I may seek an editor somewhere within the sea of the internet so that the readers who are grammar friendly or English studies friendly won't have to cringe through so harshly.
> 
> Sincerely, Frenchpressit


	5. Wonderland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The BLU Spy has lured Wilhelm (BLU Medic) with a tease. How far will Wilhelm fall down this hole before he finds the whole Wonderland? Even then, how will he fit into all this questionable opening that teared into his life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to apologize ahead of time for grammar mistakes and maybe spelling mistakes, I currently have a selfish interest of having my story in my mind written onto the word doc and really want to be able to read it from start to finish without having to know that the series hasn't ended. I will eventually go back and edit, or maybe get some help in order to do so. Again, I apologize.

The bar owner had to eventually beg all the BLU mercenaries from the bar due to the Soldier and Demoman’s excessive bar fight. It had ended with the bar owner taking no charge, but he threatened to sue their Boss for all the damage they had done, though it wouldn’t matter for he would be replaced by sunrise by another bar owner with the help of a certain voice of fear and power with her trusted right-hand woman.

The drive back to the Base was filled with snoring and drunken mumbles as the sun was the crescent moon being the only light guiding them. Everyone was longing for the comfort of their bed, wanting to sleep their Saturday away, all but the Medic.

As they had gotten back into the car, Spy had told him to meet him in the infirmary, and that he will tell him everything tonight. It could have been a trap, but the Medic didn’t care, he wanted to know why the Spy was the way he was with him. The thought of it to the side, if it were to be a trap and the Spy meant any sort of harm on him the respawn would take care of any levels of harm done to him.

“…alright, I’ll take John and this here jackrabbit to their rooms and come back to help you two with that there Heavy and Demo.” The three sober mercenaries only being Engineer, Medic, and Spy, they had to make a double trips to take their fellow teammates safe and back to their bedrooms. Medic only nodded, giving Engineer a smile as he too was slightly height-shaven to carry either Heavy or Demoman back to their bedroom. Watching Engineer give a piggy back ride to Scout and help support Soldier back to their rooms, Spy waited for them to round the corner before taking off towards the Support Classes’ hall.

“Spy, vhat are you doing? Ve must wait for zhe Engineer to come back and help him vith Heavy and Demoman!”

This didn’t stop Spy, instead it was almost like his action was a trail of cookie crumbs for the Medic to follow, for the young German did begin to walk after him. “Ach—vait!” The mountains of curiosity the Spy had grown upon the Medic had finally crumbled down into a small avalanche, and it had only been his second day of being here.

……

When Engineer had returned, he wasn’t alone; he was accompanied by the Sniper so that he was able to help him, Spy, and the Medic on taking Heavy and Demoman back to their room. Engineer thought it would have been too much man power for moving two people but he didn’t expect the two already accounted for would have ran off.

“Dagnabbit.”

As the Engineer placed his hand over his eyes, he couldn’t help but to show his disappointment towards the Sniper, he was expecting this from the Spy but not their new Medic.

“Seems like they’re gone, mate…I’ll help y’u get these two back t’ their room.”

“You know slick…the Spah’ knows something more than us…”

Without the aviator over his eyes, the Engineer would have seen the Sniper’s reactions, but instead he was treated as though that the statement never started in the first place.

“Don’t know mate, but ‘m sure it’s his job. Bein’ professional.”

…  
“Spy! Spy! Va—ach—“ The Medic was only a couple feet behind the Spy when he ran pass the French to stand in his path, “Vait. Stop. Vhere are we going?” They were only a couple steps away from the door to the infirmary, _his_ own room. The Spy wanted to show him something and if it were to be in his room, what could it possibly be? Medic didn’t want to fall into a trap even if it meant that it was his own teammate’s trap.

“I am going to show you ze barber I was telling you about, Docteur.”

“B…Barber?”

The young Medic stood slightly dumbfounded, was this really about his hair-cut? And with that aside, they were still heading towards his room, or at least the infirmary at the furthest. Medic wouldn’t let this man near his room until he had _earned his trust_.

The Spy on the other hand walked around the Medic and made his way towards the infirmary, opening the door for the Medic, “Now…would you please, Docteur?”

The young Medic quickly turned to shuffle his feet towards the infirmary, confused and lost before looking at the Spy to back his way into the infirmary. His glacier hues were fixated upon the Frenchman’s not wanting to lose contact for even a split second. This was _his_ domain and he wasn’t going to have any curve balls thrown at him, at least not by the Spy, the man who refuse to open up to him in any way or form.

“Vhat are we doing in my room? My infirmary, Spy?”

The Spy only followed the Medic, closing the door on his way in before heading towards the eye wash station. There were obvious signs that it hadn’t been used for a long time from the rust that had formed from a small leakage which could be heard when the Medic’s breath was held. Spy then placed his hand upon the lever for the shower head over the sink. Click.

“…Vhat was zhat…?”

Spy’s expression stayed unchanged, slowly backing away from the eye wash station as the tiles in front of it parted to show a basement entranceway to a ladder that seemed to go to a bottomless pit. He only swayed his arm to indicate to the young Medic to take the first step.

“It is your room. It is your infirmary. Please, you first.”

Medic’s heart sank by millions of leagues under, but what the Spy had said was true. It was his room, it was his infirmary. As much as he hated to admit it as of this moment, and as much as how he wanted to take back everything he had just said, this secret entrance changed everything the moment Spy introduced it to him.

He doesn’t remember his first step towards the opening, only the loud ringing in his ears and as single, then double drops of sweat began to roll down his temple. His breath began to speed up as he neared the entrance, his eyes fixated upon it before quickly giving a look back over at the Spy to make sure that he wasn’t about to do anything to him.

Once he began to climb down the ladder, the Spy joined him, following him as the doorway above them closed upon the trigger of the sensors.

And then, everything descended to a colder and darker place.

…

The ladder stretched down for what it felt like miles, which was until the dry land touched the bottom of his boot. The Medic’s eyes fluttered around to see lights blooming throughout the floor and ceiling before him, revealing scientific equipment and gadgets beyond his wishes and dreams. It was as though that he had climbed his way down the rabbit’s hole and entered wonderland.

“…vhat is this place…?”

“It is ze lab which was assigned to many those before you, Docteur. You are ze tenth to enter here, and we are hoping that you will pick up where Klaus has finished.”

Tenth Medic to be here? Wilhelm knew that there had only been ten Medics including himself, ever since the first Medic had died of a mysterious death, every few or fewer years, his successors would die of various lists of deaths. Meanwhile, the REDs, well they were a mystery.

“Vhat…is to be done here…?”

As the small footsteps began to make way down a walkway which gradually changed from soil to metallic panels, the Medic began to see a row of human sized glass containments filled with unknowns from his left than to his right. There were ten tubes and all of them were occupied with what it seemed to be some types of humanoids, or even just plain animals.

“It iz where we—I mean, you and your past successors, have been and will be working on gene splicing…”

The Spy continued to make his way down the walkway, not fazed by the _test subjects_ within these containments. They were cloudy at first, but as the young Medic made his way close to the first one the cloudy murkiness of the quickly cleared up as though that the filters were motion sensed to his physical presence—or just any physical presence upon it.

“…My previous successors made them?” The young Medic’s crystal like blue eyes shined in awe as he saw what he thought was the Demoman but with the appearance of an animal. He looked like a werewolf dressed in the Demoman’s attire, sleeping soundly within his little containment. If this was just one of many, what were the others? How much could he do if this is what the previous Medics before he had done? What sort of approach was he supposed to take?

“…Spy?” When there was no answer from his previous question, the young Medic turned to see where the Spy had gone, but he was nowhere to be seen. He must have gone further down the lab, there were so much more he wanted to see but as of this moment, the young Medic didn’t want to get himself lost in this wonderland.

“…Spy? Vhere are you?” His footsteps clanked and clunked as they made their way down the rest of the containments, not knowing half of what was going on as he walked away from them. The eyes of these test subjects were opening, waking from their slumber to their new Doctor.

“Spy?” When the pathway came to an end, there stood the Spy muttering to someone as he faced down at a fenced edge, almost like a zoo where people would look over to see a solitary animal. The Spy only chuckled before turning to face the young Medic, “Oh, hello Docteur, I would like you to meet my brother…” He took a step off to the side to let the Medic approach, and within the pit that lay before the fence was a being that the young Medic had yet to prepare his heart to see.

The being looked up at the Medic; their eyes met, but were greeted with silence. The creature below however, broke the silence, “Zhe Docteur! You are quite young now aren’t you?” Quite young now, that was a strange way to describe him. It was as though that the creature below him and himself already had a history, but to the young Medic’s failure, he couldn’t remember him. Who could forget such an amazing creature? “I-…I am?” Those were the last things the Medic muttered before he felt a hand upon his shoulder, “We have been waitin’ for quite some time Doc.” That sounded like the Engineer, did the Engineer know about this too? However, when the Medic turned, he came face to face to with a rather unfamiliar face, they were some familiarity but the unfamiliarity settled quite heavily within his mind. “…Come on Doc’, we got to get workin’—“

“We have a bit of a problem.” The Spy interrupted the Engineer, lighting a cigarette which dangled at the tip of his lips, “Ze Medic has no memory what so ever…it’s much worse than ze one before.” This Engineer had ears of a fox, outfit of the regular engineer, much slimmer and a tail of a fox behind him. His eyes were covered with a goggle which seemed to make gadget like sound effects as he leaned closer to the Medic to rather examine him, “You pullin’ ma’ tail’ there Spah?! That ain’ good! Ain’ good at all!” The speech was the Engineer alright, but that didn’t change the fact that the Medic was still speechless, leaning back more onto the fence from too much around him. “V-Vhat…? Zhey can…talk? Zhey are alive? Zh-Zhat’s amazin—“

“WHO HERE’S SMOKING DOWN HERE!? IS IT THAT TWO-LEGGED FRENCHY FROM THE UPSTAIRS?!”

That sounded like the Soldier, but when the Medic turned, hoping to see the Soldier, he was greeted with yet another inhumane test subject. He was most likely one of the beings held within the containments he had previously walked by. The Soldier stood like a human being, but his face and hands were of a bloodhound. His snout sniffed around as he approached the Spy, slapping his paw across to knock over the lit cigarette out and away from the Spy’s mouth, “YOU DIRTY FRENCHY! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE TOLD YOU NOT TO SMOKE DOWN HERE!?” His helmet bounced over and around his head as he barked at the Spy, leaving the Medic to slowly move away along the fence to recollect his mind.

These were all amazing creations, but seeing them move around was something of his dreams. He would have never thought of seeing his dream creation to move around. They were so real, it was as though that his childhood dreams had jumped out of his dreams and into reality. “…z-zhis is…amazin—“ His words were cut short when he bumped into something furry, and massive in size. When he felt the heavy breathing upon his face, he couldn’t help but to feel the blood drain out of body. “…v-v..vhat—“ There before him stood a Bear, dressed in Heavy’s vest, but a full grown grizzly bear, “DOKTOR!!!!!” The bear roared in human tongue, not realizing how his massive body had leaned in far enough to push the smaller male off and over the fence, “Ah…” The bear tried to reach and grab the Medic before his claws slipped and watched as he fell deep into the pit before--*squish*

The Medic felt suction around his waist as though some sort of gigantic smooth rope with gigantic suction cups had gripped around him. “…Vah--…va…” His eyes blinked many times as he could feel his heart beating out of his chest, “…please Docteur…breathe.” The creature he had seen first was the source of saving him from the fall. The creature then brought the Medic closer to him, his tentacle still holding him by the waist. “We…are your creation, Docteur.” Their eyes met once again, but no matter how much information he was fed, nothing was familiar. What were they talking about? Remembering? What was going on? He wished he was familiar with all these settings, but they were nothing more than a blurry dream to him. Everything was a dream, was this part of a dream? Wake up then!

“Wilhelm, am I right?”

The mention of his name made the Medic brought him back to reality, him now face to face with the creature which the top half of the body was of the Spy’s and the bottom half of it being of an octopus, “…Y-Yes…” His answer was whimpered, his body was shaking, but when he was embraced by the Spy—no, Octopus, or this _thing_ , he just closed his eyes and rested his head over the creature’s shoulder—no, _TentaSpy_ ’s shoulder.

“…mon docteur…you must be scared…we are sorry for ganging up on you like this, we didn’t mean to. We will gradually let you remember…we won’t scare you anymore.”

This TentaSpy was much gentler than he imagined him to be. The Medic only leaned in and rested his head, his arm wrapping around the other.

“…that _thing _is what we have this time?” The Engineer growled to the Spy in disgust as he crossed his arms. They were out of the hearing range from the TentaSpy and the Medic, but the Spy wasn’t going to let anyone speak down upon _Wilhelm_. “If you wish to have ze plan go as you wish…or rather _he___ wishes…you best watch your mouth…little fox.” The Spy’s eyes glared sharply over at the Engineer, not fazed by those animalistic features. He was familiar with this, ever since his brother had undergone the test, he was used to it. It was all part of a bigger picture.

“That _thing_ has a name…just like your plan. W.I.L.H.E.L.M.”

Engineer’s ears twitched upon the mention of the name, Wilhelm. “…well I’ll be damned…” Facing back down at the Medic, he grinned while his gloved hands began to rub against another, “We’re finally making progress than. We’ll be finally making our moves!”

“You serious?! Finally? No way!” A voice fluttered from wall to wall as a falcon flew over and on the Engineer’s helmet, “This. Is. Going. To. Be. AWESOME!” The falcon was the Scout, his wings fluttering as he then looked over at the Spy, “I can’t wait to finally mess some shit up--!!” The Spy then flicked his finger upon the Scout’s beak, shutting him up, “You will speak of no such thing until W.I.L.H.E.L.M reaches the peak of the plan.”

The Scout just shook his head around before rolling his eyes, “…alright, alright, you got me…what’s a few weeks’ worth compared to how long it has taken us to get here? Right?”

“Right.” The Soldier growled as he placed his hand over his modified rocket launcher, meanwhile two footsteps approached him, followed by a yawn, “Aye…so our plan be followin’ through?” It was the Demoman the Medic had seen before, but a walking and human tongue speaking werewolf. Behind the werewolf Demoman was a Pyro with wings with hairy strange texture. He didn’t speak much, but instead tilted his head and flapped his wings to fly over to the Fox Engineer to stay close to him. “You got that right Demo…and ah…see that you’re awake, don’t worry lil’ guy…we’ll make sure that what has been done to you doesn’t go unnoticed by the world.” The Pyro only snuggled closer to the Engineer, his wings folded behind him. Spy wasn’t phased by any of these creatures—only one he found threat was—

“Oi! Don’t you be hoggin’ the Medic ya’ selfish sushi!” The Sniper.

Spy quickly looked over at the pit, there flew a Sniper, his gigantic wings hovering him over the pit where he pointed at the TentaSpy and the Medic, “Ah’ll shoot y’u if I have t’a!” Medic looked up to see what he thought was an angel from those bibles he had heard so much about. Humanoids with wings, but this was the Sniper and those were the wings of the Haast’s Eagle.

“Oh mein gott.” He whispered before the TentaSpy willingly held the Medic up so that he could be helped up and out of the pit, “Don’t worry, I was only trying to help our Medic calm down…” The Sniper then reached out to hold the Medic’s hand and lifted him up to hold him over his shoulder, “Y’u always have an answer for my accusations, don’t y’a?” He held the Medic close before gently placing him back down next to the Spy, slowly landing himself down before folding his wings behind him, “It’s finally nice t’ see y’u back Doc! We really missed ya’! It’s also strange to see ya’ so…young.” The Winged-Sniper crossed his arms and examined the Medic from head to toe before being pushed away by the bear as it then gave the Medic a _bear hug_ , “I missed you Doktor…my friend! My komrade! My Doktor!” Breath was lost as the Bear Heavy hugged him, maybe that was a good thing because then, everything went black.

_Maybe Alice fell too hard into Wonderland, and she just needed to be shaken up with little more force to be woken up._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took quite the piece of my mind while I was working on it. I wanted to rush it by bullshitting a couple of the animals, but I found that unfair from both ends of me (the writer) and you (the reader). I hope that you guys enjoy this as much as I did, I am just happy that I was finally able to release a chapter of what the rest of this fanfic will be built upon. If anyone has any questions or thoughts of the fanfic and doesn't want to leave a review, you can reach me on my Tumblr or my Steam account located on my profile.


	6. Chatter, Hoodie, and Haircut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilhelm wakes from a slumber that lasts almost an entire day. He remembers bits and pieces of what has happened the night before, but Spy is there to share more thoughts with him. He also still needs to get a haircut, this long haircut just isn't going to do. If you would like to see Wilhelm's haircut, or my depiction of how it could have turned out, it is at the end of this chapter.

_The world is really nothing but a fucking lie until you find out who you really are._

Wilhelm’s eyes fluttered open to a blur moonlit night. _Ach, I slept the entire day away with zhat crazy dream._ He swayed his head side to side, rolling upon his soft pillow before resting his arm over his eyes, “…ach…vhat a strange dream…I hope I didn’t miss anything--…”

“…It wasn’t a dream Docteur. You shouldn’t dismiss reality away so easily.” The Spy’s voice got Wilhelm to dart up from his bed, dumbfounded he quickly looked around to find the Spy, finding him sitting at the foot of his bed while taking in the deep aroma of his lit cigarette. “…it is strange however, zat you don’t remember a thing about your previous self…” It wasn’t as though that Wilhelm didn’t want to know what was going on around him as of the last couple hours, but the Spy however seemed to think that it was a common knowledge and he not knowing about the creations was stranger than fiction. “Maybe it’s all part of the bigger picture? As you always told Jean?” Jean? Was who Jean? “Oh forgive me…I meant to say zat Tentacle thing down zhere…you know…” Wilhelm only muttered back under his breath, “…y-you mean zhat…TentaSpy?”

Spy sat in silence, his eyes fixed upon Wilhelm as though that what he had said was the strangest thing he had heard in his life, “…TentaSpy…hm…hmm…” A smile cracked upon the stiff face Wilhelm was so used to since they had met, “Hon hon…TentaSpy, zat is quite adorable! Yes! Zat! TentaSpy is indeed Jean!” Wilhelm didn’t know how to handle this suddenly lightened Spy, but all that came to an end as the Spy quickly recollected himself and threw his cigarette onto the floor before stepping it out. “Jean and Jacque…we were quite ze best…zat was until _he_ fed all zat…plan into him. Now look at him. He’s trapped down zhere and what for? For ze…plan? I still can’t take what was going zhrough his mind when he accept zat man’s offer…what did he offer that made him trash everyzing? To become a monster? Is zat really worth it?”

Wilhelm listened to Jacque in silence, was the Spy getting personal with him? Did the Spy just tell him his real name? Was his name really Jacque? And previously he had called that TentaSpy his brother, so that was Jean. What was the bigger picture? Wilhelm couldn’t see it but if he could, then maybe he could help _Jacque_ with this situation. He feared that he would most definitely become hysterical at the end of this small questions and answer he was throwing upon himself.

“How…could I help mon beloved brother…except support what he believes in?”

The crickets chirped in the distance beyond the window and the moonlit sky, Wilhelm couldn’t help but to reach over and bring his glasses over to get a better look at Jacque. “What is ze Sniper to you, mon ami?”

Wilhelm focused his eye sights upon Jacque as his spectacles nested over his eyes and settled over his ears. _The Sniper? Benjamin?_ Wilhelm didn’t know how to answer this, it really wasn’t a topic that had yet to make a home in his mind. He didn’t dislike Benjamin, the male had been nothing but kind and caring to him since they had met. _What was Benjamin to him?_ Wilhelm’s mind stormed up and his mouth uttered an answer which he wasn’t expecting himself to give, “He’s a comrade. Teammate. I guess he could even be zhe roommate of sort? He is indeed next door.” Jacque didn’t need to know about the kiss, the late night sleep over, or even the talk about Klaus. The events that happened between him and Benjamin didn’t need to leave that ground.

“…zen what was ze kiss? Did it mean nozing?”

 _Or maybe it had left the ground already without Wilhelm even realizing that it had._ “Excuse me? I don’t know vhat you are talking abou—“

Jacque had leaned off of the bed and had begun to make his way casually over to Wilhelm’s side while freeing his hands of the leathers that once encased them, “Ze kiss. Ze kiss which happened upon zis very bed.” Wilhelm was now facing up to look at the shadow curtained face which stood before him. The moonlight hid Jacque as nothing but a standing silhouette without a detailed form, but that didn’t stop him from the ongoing interrogation, “Would ze time and date help you remember? I find it impossible for you to forget your first kiss.”

Silence lay heavy upon Wilhelm’s bedroom, it was as though that the question and the accusation had scared all the crickets away, all that could be heard now was of Jacque’s suit folding as he leaned to place his palm over Wilhelm’s cheek. “Zat filth needs to learn to keep its hands away from you.” Jacque’s words felt like daggers into Wilhelm’s chest, why would he say such harsh words about Benjamin? Had he done something to make Jacque speak in such way? Or did Jacque just dislike everyone? Hell, Wilhelm didn’t even know where he stood when it came to this man, for all he knew, Jacque detested him more than how much he had just shared to detest Benjamin.

“You belong to ze projects, mon ami. No one else. Everyone else is ze enemy except those who are with ze projects…” Wilhelm’s eyes fixated within the darkness of where he imagined Jacque’s eyes would be. As Jacque began to lean closer, Wilhelm slowly leaned back against his bed post. Once Jacque’s knees planted themselves outside of his knees and the free hand planting itself over his hand, Wilhelm felt his heart pick up a pace as the distance between the two began to close in, “J-Jacque! Vhat am I to you?” The question blurted out of Wilhelm’s mouth, and at the same time his heart stopped beating as though his body was keeping up the silence open for Jacque to answer.

Silence.

“…you are mon am…eh hem…mon mission. It is my job to protect you and make sure that nozing happens to you.” Jacque merely leaned his head in before pausing in front of Wilhelm’s lips, parting his lips before closing it shut and moving into rest his head over the smaller shoulder. The answer wasn’t what Wilhelm was expecting, but here he sat with Jacque resting his head over his shoulder.

“By ze way, you slept zrough ze morning plan for tomorrow’s battle…ze Soldat wanted me to tell you once you’ve regained your conscious to meet him in his… _headquarter_.”

The bed began to shift around as Jacque retreated to his own personal bubble and got up to make his way towards the door to the infirmary, “I will make take my leave for now. We will talk about ze projects later.” As he made his way out of the room, he stopped briefly to look over at Wilhelm, “…and don’t ever go down zhere on your own. Not until we figure out what is going on.”

The door closed before Wilhelm had the moment to answer. Jacque was expecting him to not go down there alone, though mentally, even he couldn’t see himself going down there alone anytime soon. The bed shifted once again as he slouched back down into his pillow, crossing his arms over his glasses to rest his eyes for just a little more to let all these information seep into his brain. What was there to remember? Wilhelm could barely remember much of his life before Mann Co. Hell, he felt as though that he would be nothing if it weren’t for Mann Co. Without this company, where would he be but to be just another butt of the joke to a group of university professors with his gene-splicing theory?

“…Jacque…has finally opened a world for me to be myself…I shouldn’t be lost…”

Wilhelm wanted to be clear in the head as possible, these test subjects he had seen down below his infirmary were the keys to his very studies. Animal genes spliced through those of human’s. If he were to look more into them and give birth to his own, there would be a breakthrough in the scientific gate. It would get him to places much higher than—where ever he was as of this moment.

“…oh! Soldat.”

John, their Soldier, had wanted him to meet him in his _headquarter_ to go over for the plans tomorrow. It wasn’t that Wilhelm disliked the Soldier, but rather he was the exact opposite of himself and it was quite hard to channel their energy together. Their first match together with the RED team had gone disarray due to the Soldier’s constant rocket jumping and his desired to have been healed the moment he had landed far into the front line.

“…ve need to vork on zhat…hopefully soon…”

Wilhelm had hope that if they were to work on their teamwork, then maybe they would win the match and not have a stalemate. He could spend more time with the Soldier though, it seemed to Wilhelm that the Soldier would much rather spend his time with the Engineer instead. The two seemed incredibly close when he had first run into them, and Wilhelm wasn’t about to wedge into their friendship or relationship just to have better teamwork.

Fresh and crisp white dress shirt drew out of his closet as Wilhelm began to change out of his pyjamas and into something professional before heading over to meet the Soldier. Button by button, Wilhelm began to map out his trip to the Soldier’s room, it would be slightly awkward but that shouldn’t have him go out of his way to go to avoid him. Looking into the mirror Wilhelm took hold of one of the blue ties from the drawer to tidy up his collar before stopping and catching the glimpse of the BLU team’s sponsored hoodie. It was chilly outside, and he didn’t have to be completely formal for this meeting, it was just going to be him and the Soldier he could be casual. _It wasn’t as if he **had** to look professional, it was **never** his thing. Right?_

“Hoodie it is zhen…”

His hands slipped back onto unbuttoning his vest and shirt. His body felt as though that he didn’t belong in these types of clothing. He didn’t know why he did, but it must have been from the encounter with the creatures downstairs. It could also have been from the little scare the Spy had given him, a scare which had turned into a mixture of knowing one better. _It vould have been better if I got to know more about Klaus._

As he popped his head out of his hoodie and made his way towards the infirmary, he paused from the way his hair brushed against the hood. “Ach…I forgot to ask zhe Spy for zhe hair cut…I vonder who vould have given it to me…” He ruffled his hair to give it a bit of volume before styling them neat. The Spy had told him that he knew someone who could have given him a haircut. The Spy had made it clear that it was him, so who was it? He mentioned that they were an _artist_ \--oh, didn’t he also mention that the Soldier was able to give haircuts too?

Wilhelm’s boots clicked against the linoleum floor of his infirmary, making his way out and towards the Soldier’s _headquarter_. The Soldier was a person Wilhelm had quite the hardship of reading. The man was a nut job at some moments, animalistic at others; then there was the visage he wore which forced himself to be someone he wasn’t. He wasn’t like the RED Soldier, but it seemed as though that he was persuading himself to show others that he was. What was _he_ gaining from this?

His thoughts trailed on before he found himself in front of the Soldier’s room. He paid three knocks before clearing his throat, “Herr Soldat. I am here to review for zhe battle tomorrow?” Silence was greeted at first, but then it was followed by shuffling. Falling? Maybe things were falling. Clattering, chairs perhaps. There were things definitely shuffling and now clattering all over the place before he heard footsteps approaching the door. “Doc?” The door opened and it was the Soldier. It seemed as though that he had awoken from mid-slumber. “Oh mein gott, forgive me Soldat. I vill leave you to your sleep. I am sure zhat you vill be able to brief zhe plan tomorrow—“

“NO! It is fine! Come into the headquarter Doctor.” Wilhelm felt his stomach jump from the sudden rise of the voice, but in order to keep their conversation from escalating any further from the current volume, he didn’t deny the offer, “I vill. Danke schön, herr Soldat.”

Soldier’s room was fairly neat, despite the strangely tilted lamp shade and the slightly ruffled around books and papers upon the nightstand and table. _So zhat is vhere zhe sounds came from._ Upon entering Wilhelm also noticed that the Soldier kept his mouth sealed even after the door had closed. The silence, however, didn’t last long. “I heard you from the car that you were looking for a haircut?” Wilhelm’s ears perked upon the question, it wasn’t as though that he hadn’t thought about getting them cut, but it just wasn’t something he was expecting to hear from the Soldier.

“Ja. Ach—ehm…it’s quite long for zhe battlefield.” Soldier’s helmet was still kept on so it was impossible to read the American’s eyes; however, there was a grim feeling coming from the man. “Is everyzhing okay vith you Soldat? I am a Medic, I can help…” The Soldier only shook his head and walked over to his desk in search of scissors, “I’m fine Doctor. I’ll give you a haircut. I just hope that you are fine with close cut to the back?” He then began to pull out a thin sheet with a pair of scissors. It was as though that the man was prepared for such situations, maybe it was due to his military routines and regulations.

“I do not mind. As long as zhey don’t get in my way vhen I am in zhe field, I am fine.” Wilhelm felt the sheet over his lap and around his neck. It was something he somehow found fond and comfortable of, it almost made him melt away from the world. Soldier than took the spectacles off of his ears and placed them onto the table. The way that his hands stroked through his hair made Wilhelm relax his shoulders, it was as though that the Soldier’s big hands were of gentle origins.

Wilhelm felt the comb brushing through his platinum locks, along with Soldier’s fingers stroking along before feeling those scissors biting down onto the tails of his hair. Soldier didn’t say much while the haircut was on going, but Wilhelm felt as though that this was much better than conversing. They could have spent the time talking about the plan for tomorrow’s match, but instead there they were, silent with only the scissors doing the talking.

“So Doctor, how did someone young get a Medical license?” Wilhelm’s ears flinched as he felt the comb brush against it. The silence broke from the Soldier’s question, a question that should have been easy to answer, “Ah…ach…hm…vell…” That was a rather good question to the Medic. He held the general knowledge of both the medical and biological field, but there were many holes in his brain to really structure a straightforward answer. He knew that he should have the answer, but it was as though that his brain had just erased all the obvious answers. “I don’t know. It’s quite embarrassing I know but…herr Soldat, it’s quite the mystery, even to me.”

The answer he had just given, it felt as though that it was something one wouldn’t want to hear from a Medic, this made Wilhelm’s heartbeat race. He knew that he was still getting a haircut but he felt uneasy. “I mean—forgive me, Soldat—“

“John. Call me John.”

Wilhelm’s heart skipped a beat from the sudden interruption, but swallowed the staggering hollowness before continuing again, “J-John…um, I am a Medic. I know my procedures, it is just zhat zhere are some zhing in mein past…ach dummkopf…I…I can’t remember…” His heart only began to beat harder and faster, maybe he had hit his head while he was downstairs? Why was that one question so hard enough for him to make him nervous like this? Almost _lost_.

“You’re a good man Doctor.” John was standing in front of him now, his arm upon Wilhelm’s back. The haircut was done, Wilhelm could feel how short of a cut was at the back of his head when he felt John’s hand now brushing against it. This felt nice, it was something he missed. Perhaps what he was missing was human contact? This was much more than that, it was warm and familiar. It wasn’t John, but he felt as though that this was something he had felt before; a different time, a different person. Wilhelm decided not to question the good feeling and leaned into John’s stomach, taking in the embrace.

When John freed Wilhelm from the embrace and returned his spectacles to him, he saw a mirror on the table to check his new haircut, “Wow, zhis is wunderbar. Professional. Thank you Solda--…John.” His hair was given a flat shave like cut in the back, but there were enough hair on top and front to give it a bit of a breeze effect. As Wilhelm looked at himself upon the mirror, his eyes glanced over at a rather old framed photo. The photo was of a young John standing with his arm over the shoulder of maybe one of the previous Medic. The Medic on the photo had short, well-groomed, jet-black hair with blue eyes just as blue as his own. John looked as though that he was almost too happy to be taking a photo with the Medic, while in return it seemed as though the Medic himself just wanted to go and resume his research. His eyes were fixated upon the clipboard, but his free arm almost hidden was still somewhere upon John’s back. So maybe the Medic was reluctant for the photo, but still cared enough for John to show some intimacy.

“I used to give all the men in my company a haircut, especially when their grooming standards were getting out of hand…” John’s words trailed off as he noticed Wilhelm’s eyes upon his photo. He swallowed the rest of his words and forced out a chuckle. _Zhere it is again, he is forcing himself_. “That there’s my good friend, Nikolaus, Nikolaus Gottfried. He was an amazing Medic. I think I see a little of him in you, Doctor.”

Wilhelm felt John’s hands slowly making its way around his waist, the way that the man’s head was now resting against his shoulder, Wilhelm didn’t know if he should speak up or not. The way that John was silent, he knew that if he were to say one word, the man would breakdown and rain down into millions of pieces. All the while he was embraced Wilhelm’s eyes didn’t break away from that old piece of photo. The Medic in the photo, Nikolaus Gottfried, was one of the Medics before him. He was before himself and Klaus. Estimating the quality of the photo and the paper it was printed in, he felt as though that Nikolaus was one of the first Medics to be working for BLU.

That’s the Medic who started it all: the implanting process of the Über-hearts, cross project with the Engineer on the respawn, and finally the project downstairs.

Wilhelm felt that he had to find out more about this Medic, maybe then, he’ll get the answers he wanted to these questions he had in his mind which were yet to be even formed into a working statement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am currently looking for someone to help me edit my work, I'm quite unhappy with my own editing skills. There really aren't any. I also would like to apologize just how long it takes for me to upload a chapter. It could be openly shared that the first five chapters were already pre-written long before it was to be ever published. I finally have a grip upon which direction I would like for this fanfic to head, so I hope that I have a few of you and myself to go on this ride. I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoy typing this up. I think of words and then I just put them together until they makes sense in a way I like them. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Potato. Also, if I don't post another chapter before Christmas, I would like to wish you all a happy Christmakahwanzasterevethingyoucelebrate. 
> 
> I also would like to share a brief doodle I previously posted on the first chapter for Wilhelm's haircut:
> 
>  
> 
> I have other doodles of him on my [Gaming Tumblr](http://austrianterrier.tumblr.com/tagged/wilhelm)


	7. The Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night of Wilhelm's arrival at the BLU Base, the RED Base had their little research. The research was going on between the RED Medic and the RED Spy and they had a question that even Wilhelm may not be able to answer; however, it doesn't seem to matter for the Spy will find a way to get an answer one way or the other. He always was able to get things if it was something the Medic wanted. He would do anything for his Medic.

In the darkness of the RED and the BLU bases lurked a shadow. The shadow was everywhere: listening, watching, _waiting_. When the new BLU Medic joined the long battle between the RED and the BLU, the shadow was able to reach him. He didn’t know anything about this Medic, except that they were the new BLU Medic. This wasn’t a good thing to the shadow, but at the same time, it wasn’t a bad news either. It meant that aggression to the matter had to be stronger than usual. The shadow would have to come out and into the light.

_The night of Wilhelm’s arrival to the BLU Base._

“I heard zhat zhe BLU is getting a new Medic…” The RED Medic spoke as he kept his eyes upon the open folder upon his table. The papers upon it were organized, as were his writing utensils within his pen basket. The blood upon his bare hands shattered the neat table as the Medic then looked careful at the picture of the young platinum haired male, “Zhe boy looks different; he’s not like zhe others. He’s--…he’s nozhing like them.” His eyes shimmered like sapphires with interest, reading the profile collected by their RED Spy. There weren’t much about the young BLU replacement, but something made him different, and the main reason was the fact that the replacement didn’t have jet black hair. The blood upon the RED Medic’s hand smeared onto the photo as he looked into the equally blue eyes. _He is not like zhe others_.

“Mon cher, I did what I could, yet it is impossible to dig any more information on zis…boy, it is as though zat he did not exist until ze end of ze second war; indeed, he iz ze same as ze others when it comes to zat but—he holds not similar feature to ze previous clones.” The RED Spy popped opens his cigarette case and tug out a stick, but only began to play with it in his hand instead of lighting it. He knew that the Medic hated the smell of cigarette, but the Spy hated the smell of dried blood which reeked through the infirmary.

The infirmary had splatters of blood everywhere; the place was as though that a slaughter had taken place. The bloods were mainly dried, but there were some wet on the floor and on surgery table. The blood in the room belonged to the mercenaries in the RED team. The Medic had his way of not being sanitary when it came to his infirmary, but when it came to his researches he was cleaner than the whitest linoleum floor.

The Medic shook his head, slamming his bloodied fist onto the photo, “You need to dig more. Get me his DNA. I don’t care how you do it, I just need zhe DNA—and remember, no blood. Blood is useless unless he is out of zhe respawn area…ach…I feel somezhing different from him. He’s different—familiar—don’t question me, zhe plans ve have tried vill not vork on zhis boy.” _It is his eyes, something about his eyes._

“Niklas, I believe zat you are just over thinking zis. You’ve seen him before, have you not, in with ze dummy system provided by ze companies? Klaus must have known. Zid you not study him? You haven’t made a single mistake on picking ze right replacement.” Niklas’s eyes glowered onto the bloodied photo. He had indeed seen the boy before he was hired, the only problem was that the _dummy_ system worked two ways. RED will provide dummy subjects they pick out from various medical schools, while the BLU does the same. Both of the company would have already chosen their picks without the chosen Medics holding no knowledge of this. Before the companies settle with their chosen ones, whom will be placed on hold until they are needed in order to replace the present Medic, they are to show their _candidates_ to both of the Medics currently in charge. The catch of this are the dummies, they are all potential candidates, but it gives the rivaling Medic a chance to learn about their future enemy or a dummy whom they will never see again.

“Julien…I chose zhe wrong one. I vas going vith mein analysis, I believe zhat another vas going to be chosen, but…zhis one—zhis one is wrong.” Julien’s eyes widened in surprise, Niklas had never uttered words which proved that he was wrong, but this was a different situation. With this type of reaction, it meant that Niklas had chosen the dummy, which meant that they were going to be flying blind. This wouldn’t matter in the field, but as for their _plan_ they couldn’t take such a risk.

The cigarette pinched in between his fingers landed upon his lower lip, “I will fix zis, we didn’t come zis far to fuck it all up.” Julien held the cigarette with his lips, his eyes glancing over a Niklas who was still drowning himself into the photo, “…mon cher…” There wasn’t a reply from the dazed and almost lost Niklas, he was quiet and it looked as though that he was in another world, out and trying to fix this matter from standing in the room.

“Niklas…” Julien leaned over the desk, his gloved hand placed upon it and gradually sliding towards the bloodied one; however, before their hands could touch Niklas swung his hand away. The irritation must have been tense, seeing as though that once the plan fails, everything will fall apart for Niklas. “…I will leave you be for now.”

Julien and Niklas had been working together for a long time, they were one the original RED mercenaries. They had shared many thoughts and plans together. Even though in the field they weren’t close, in the base they were more than close. Julien turned around and made his way out of the infirmary, leaving Niklas alone in his quicksand, “…Mon cher, I will bring you a sample of his DNA. Don’t do anything you will regret.” As his final requests and promises sworn, Julien hazed away into thin air.

“I know zhose eyes, don’t I, Nikolaus?” Niklas felt an involuntary twitch of his right eye. He could feel the numbness slowly shooting through his eye and towards his cheek and over his head. His hand shot up to hover over the twitch, the irritation and adrenaline from the fear making his body shake, “I do not know vhat you are up to…but I vill not go avay so easily…I killed your previous clones, so vhat makes zhis one so special—ACH—uch---gr…” Niklas felt sharp pains echoing through his body, it felt as though that his body was about to slowly rip apart from inside out. The pain, as excruciating as it was, wasn’t enough to stop him from reaching into his drawer with those shaky hands.

Within the drawer were cases upon cases, similar to the Spy’s cigarette case. Reaching in, Niklas drew one out and opened to reveal numerous syringes. He drew one out and stabbed it into the side of his neck and injected himself with the content. His body continued to shake, but as seconds passed by the shaking gradually calmed to a slow halt. “Zhe more clones you make…zhe longer I vill live.” Niklas’s eyes stabilized as he withdrew the syringe to look at the empty contents. His blue pupils found themselves diving to look at the rest of the cases, “Zhis mistake von’t affect me…it only tell me zhat you can clone not only fraternal twins, but zhose of different character traits…as long as he has your DNA, I vill be fine vhile you slowly rot avay to hell.”

…

“AH T’IS GOOD DAY!...” Julien heard the roaring voice of Yuri, the BLU Heavy. While hiding in the air ducts, he watched the Heavy lifted up the young Medic and welcomed him to their team. He had been watching the BLUs for awhile and in those time was able to tell that the Heavy was smarter than their own. He had almost caught him rummaging through the infirmary, and before he was able to catch him the new Medic was in his sense of radar, which was the reason why he quickly played it off as to _cleaning the office_ in order to not spook him. _How fucking disgustingly cute of zis Russian dog._

This wasn’t the first time Julien had snuck into the BLU base, he had done so many times before and had gotten caught in some ways. He had gotten caught by the Heavy many times due to the smell of his cigarette brand, but that was why he had been smoking the BLU Spy’s brand for the entire day. It was something he snuck out of the man’s pocket. The BLU Spies had their cigarette brands from the BLU Company and it was only available to the BLUs, and this was same for the REDs. A through wash, new suit, and a new cigarette made this sneaking possible.

Once the Heavy left the room, he found himself now patiently waiting for the Medic to fall asleep. It wasn’t that Julien had a thing against the young Medic, but if it was for Niklas, he would do anything. _Anything_ had so far gone to the maximum limit as to going against the Administrator and to the obvious murders of the countless BLU Medics. He was loyal to Niklas as he was sure that Niklas was loyal to him. _Right?_

As he pondered patiently, he watched the Medic make his way into the bedroom. Once the door closed, he carefully unscrewed the air vent’s entrance to slip carefully out and onto the floor. As much as he had seen this clean infirmary, it always amazed him as to how this was possible, “Clone or not, zey are nozing alike.” His eyes glazed around the infirmary to see the cabinet holding the vials filled with various concoctions. It was as though that he were in a familiar setting, as he then reached into the drawer built into the cabinet to pull out an empty syringe, “Anesthesia should work…” Julien muttered as he then took out a single vial of anesthesia to get his work done. As he began to fill up the syringe with the concoction, he glanced over at the closed bedroom door upon hearing the bedspring squeak.

_One._

He breezed towards the door as swift and flexible he was.  
 _Two._

The door opened without a sound, and once inside—  
 _Three._

“Spy?”

The time froze for Julien as he heard the young Medic. His spectacles off and on the night table, there sitting on the bed under the moon shining through the window. He was caught. He would be surrounded by the BLU team and sent back to his spawn.

“Vhat are you doing here so late? You could have knocked. Should I get used to zhis?” Julien then realized that he hadn’t been caught, and that the Medic was practically blind without his spectacles. So when he began to reach for it, he didn’t hesitate to approach the bed to quickly inject the anesthetic into his neck. “Vas…Spy…?” Their eyes met, even with the moonlight being the only light source in the room, it was enough to see that this Medic’s eyes were different those before him. “…qui êtes-vous?” Even if an answer was something he wasn’t expected, Julien couldn’t help but to have asked of his identity before the Medic fell into a deep slumber.

Withdrawing the syringe out of the sleeping Medic made it easy for him to place him comfortably back into bed. The anesthetic was enough to put him out for a little under an hour, and that would be more than enough to get what he wanted. Julien took a seat upon the bed to have a better look at the slumbering Medic. He was indeed young, younger than the ones he had met before. As the knowledge goes, Julien knew that Klaus was the oldest of the BLU Medic replacements; however, they were all around the same estimated age. “So why are you ze youngest? No jet black hair. Your eyes are the same hue, but obviously different.” He reached up to place his hand over the Medic’s neck, feeling his pulse beat under his finger tips, “…Who are you…” The whisper went without an answer, but he wasn’t about to forget the reason why he had come to this room in the first place.

Julien’s hand slipped along the sheet covered Medic’s chest, taking a grip the thin layer over him to have better access. He made his way to nest in between the legs; his hands now rest over both of the thighs. Juilen may have cared and maybe even loved Niklas, but there were times he too longed for physical contacts. There were times when his _missions_ tended to cover those, such as right now and maybe more in the future. “Mon dieu…mon cher you’re quite skinny for your profession… petite petite étoile…” Julien commented as he looked at the Medic’s pyjama clothed body. His hands began to rub the thin thighs under them, gradually rising up to massaging.

Julien didn’t need to do this for any of the past Medics, but he did have to force himself upon a few in order to get information out of them. Those days had brought the sadist within him, a sadist which died when he was with Niklas. That man would take none of those _foolishness_ from Julien, so having a BLU Medic on the side to put out his hunger was good; although that was a long time ago.

“Pardon me…” He whispered as he then removed his right glove to make sure that it didn’t get messy for the following steps. His bare hand began to unbutton the convenience flap to slip to find what he had come for. The Medic’s cock wasn’t limp under his touch, but it was stiff enough for him to slip it out into the open. “Ah, you are cut, how cute. Zat is indeed different from ze previous ones.” That told him enough as to why the boy didn’t exist until after the war. He could have been a Jewish medical student who was in hiding, although that was being farfetched for anyone could have had their reasons for having their foreskin cut. With the observation aside, Julien saw that it wasn’t big as Niklas’s. but that didn’t matter to him. He found his fingers wrapping around the slowly stiffening cock, pumping his grip around it slowly up and down to get the blood flowing. He could hear the Medic’s breathing patterns becoming heavier as his simulation kept its tempo.

As Julien averted his eyes from the Medic’s simulating cock to his face, he couldn’t help but to grin mischievously, “…mon dieu, how I wish you were awake for zis…I would love to hear you sexual mewling…or begging, would love to see zat happen to you. You have Niklas’s full attention…I would love to see what makes you so special.” As he finished his statement, the Medic’s body flinched, releasing his cum over the head of his cock and around Julien’s grip. It surprised him that a man of his age ejaculated so quickly, maybe he was a virgin? That was information he was going to have fun holding onto for hopefully somewhere early in the future. “You certainly have my attention, for now. It would be a pity to have you killed so soon.” As Julien reached into his pocket for a handkerchief, he leaned close to look at the Medic’s face, “…I would love to play wiz a new toy before it breaks. I hadn’t had one in awhile, but I do remember zat I tend to break my toys fairly quickly, I hope you last.” As he began to wipe the cum off of the Medic and his hands, he placed everything back to where they belonged: cock under the pants and the Medic under the sheets.

As Julien placed the handkerchief into a bag, he froze upon the way the Medic began to twist and turn. He feared that maybe he had spoke too much and woke him up? The anesthetic was already wearing off, this was something he had not anticipated. Taking him by surprise, he quickly placed the bag into his pocket and cloaked to hide in the shadowed corner. “KLAUS!” The Medic gasped as he woke up. It wasn’t soon after that the BLU Sniper ran in to console the man. All the while this was unfolding in front of him; Julien couldn’t help but to wonder: did the young Medic cum while dreaming about the previous Medic he had killed? If so, then this was going to be even better than he had expected. It was twisted in his mind as to why the Medic would dream about the man in his sleep, but it was enough to give him ammos for some future references.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am going to upload another chapter because, I feel like I really should make up for the near six months hiatus. I really felt bad. I didn't really think that my ideas would take this long to actually form into a mold for the basic spine to a base plot line. I hope you guys really like this update. To those who are still reading this fanfic and waiting for the future updates, you guys are awesome and I hope that I don't let you guys down. I'm even scared of letting myself down every time a chapter is updated. All and all, thank you for reading and I wish you guys all happy holidays.


	8. The Campfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The RED Spy approaches the BLU Sniper, Benjamin, on the field to interrogate him for answers. When answers aren't given, the Sniper prays for the worst, but than is saved by an unexpected other. This brews up several questions within Benjamin's mind, ending up with a triggered flashback of twenty years ago BLU Company. The realization to the events happening in the present and the knowledge he held of the BLU's past makes him realize that there are much more secrets kept even between those of the original group of mercenaries .

Fire and bullets rained onto the field as the battle resumed, but everyone’s eyes were upon the BLU Medic. His once long hair had become something of the past. He was running swiftly around behind the Heavy with his Medigun, occasionally releasing his Crusader’s Crossbow into those who needed healing from a long distance and into enemies who dared to fire a single bullet towards him. The RED Sniper was taking this as a chance to fire a few rounds towards his enemy Medic, but that distraction was long enough for Benjamin to get the man down.

”Mnnhh…” Benjamin groaned in irritation as he smelled a scent he very much detested.

“Really, iz zat how you greet me? How barabaric.”

“W’ot do y’u want? Keepin’ Wilhelm close to y’u and w’ot not…thought that he was a mission—“

Benjamin felt himself flinch as he felt the knife brushing against his neck, and sadly saw the color of the RED pinstriped suit. He slowly placed his rifle down and kept his eyes upon the hand.

“W’ot do y’u want? An’ why do y’u smell like our Spook?”

“That mon cher…iz mon secret, now all I care to know iz zat you tell me who gave your dear petit Medic a hair-cut.”

“W’ot?!”

Benjamin wasn’t just confused at the fact that the RED Spy was interested in their Medic, but because he wanted to know _who_ had given him a hair-cut? The fact that the RED Spy smelled of their own Spy’s cigarette was even more of a trigger. He was going to have to question their own Spy later, right now his trouble with the RED Spy.

“I don’t know mate, last time I saw him his hair was uncut.”

“Hm…looks like I’ll have to ask mon counterpart…you’re quite useless as always, aren’t you? Useless to your new Medic, your old Medic, I wish you luck mon cher wiz zis game, because for now you are in ze losing la—“

An arrow came straight through the open window in front of them. Benjamin’s eyes, now wide in shock, couldn’t believe what had just happened. The knife only slightly brushed against his neck before the RED Spy fell onto the floor. He had only caught the glimpse of the arrow before turning around to see that it had gone into the BLU Spy’s right eye socket, taking him down. He wasn’t using the huntsman, so who could have?

“Who…”

When he peeked out the window, he saw Wilhelm with his Crusader’s Crossbow out. He was standing on the ground floor and was able to see up into the second floor to see the RED Spy holding him hostage, all this through a cracked and dirtied window.

“…dear…me…I shouldn’t have…been so careless.”

Benjamin’s heart skipped a beat when he heard the RED Spy continued to speak, it seemed as though at the shot wasn’t an instant kill,

“…looks like you won’t be…in ze losing lane…as long as ze petite etoile…has your back…”

“W’ot do y’u want from him?”

Benjamin had moved away from the window, making his way towards the RED Spy with his kukri. He couldn’t protect Wilhelm before from the RED Spy, hell he couldn’t even avenge him after his first death, by the time he had found out, their Spy had backstabbed his RED counterpart.

“In zis round, you are ze bystander….Sniper…good luck.”

The RED Spy was gone, his body waiting to disintegrate away. He stood watching the body before wondering to himself: _since the last round, the Medic had gotten so much better_. It was as though that he had trained hours upon hours on his reflexes, although that would still take weeks to improve on.

The only time the BLU had a great combat Medic was with their first Medic: Nikolaus Gottfried.

“…Nikolaus?”

…  
Estimate of 20 years back, eight years before the end of World War II…  
“Vhy do you insist on living in zhe camper? I’ve told you many time before zhat you’ll be healthier in zhe base.”

Benjamin’s ears perked as he sat by the campfire, drinking a case of beer which was shared with the Engineer about an hour ago. They had talked about his health, and seeing the Medic approach him meant that the Engineer had talked to him.

“Did Dell talk to y’u? If he did, ignore him. ‘Am fine, an’ I will be fine.”

Nikolaus, their Medic, was well into his adulthood. The man had his share of light wrinkles around his face. It wasn’t too visible, but when he smiled or had a stern look, they were hinted onto his face. He had jet black hair which now breezed with the direction of the wind. His hands were deep inside his pockets from to hide from the cool breeze,

“’I am here on my own accounts, alzhough the Engineer did speak of your health.”

He step towards the rock where Dell had previously sat upon,

“May I join you?”

This surprised Benjamin as he and Nikolaus had never really been in a talking relationship. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to talk to Nikolaus, but because he was so close to their Spy that he never found a time to really have a conversation with him. Seeing him not talking to the Spy was rather out of the ordinary for him.

“Sure, I don’t mind.”

He could have questioned Nikolaus of where the Spy was, but he wasn’t going to. He and the Spy weren’t close, but he knew that he didn’t hate the man. He was secretive but he wasn’t a creep about it. He must have spied on everyone in both RED and BLU, but the man was a great Spy to not have himself be a sly _dick_ about it.

“So, Benjamin, may I call you Benjamin?”

“Sure, yeah.”

Nikolaus smiled and gave Benjamin a nod, looking at him with those alluring blue eyes of his. They were intense at times, but they were at the same time quite lovely to look at. Benjamin never really got a good look at Nikolaus unless it was a time for his examination. He was always kept to himself and tended to stick to those he seemed to _need_. Unlike what he had heard of the RED Medic, who supposedly was mad and out of his mind, Nikolaus was calm and a real Medic who cared about the lives of his team. Of course, Nikolaus had his share of a hidden side, but that was where their Spy came in as the variable to this _secretive_ formula.

“Hm, so Benjamin, vhy do you stay in this camper? Does zhis…” He gestured his hands as though that there was an invisible boundary of sort around the camper, “…help you feel as zhough zhat you are home?”

Benjamin swayed his head side to side, thinking about what Nikolaus had just told him, only to let out an amused chuckle, “I guess you could see it that way, but nah…’am here because ‘am here because it gives me th’ sense of freedom from this bloody contract. ‘Am stuck here until th’ job’s done, and ‘am glad that they are givin’ me and m’parents the same respawn like system they got goin’. M’parents didn’t question twice when they were told to live out and away from civilization when BLU gave them that sum of money, they’d never seen that much in their life. Guess this was th’ best for both ends, m’parents are fine an’ I most definitely am fine…for now.”

“Ha ha, I see, it is very good to hear zhat your parents are indeed doing vell. I don’t know vhat I vould do if mein were alive, maybe not here, maybe somevhere else, who knows.”

The way that Nikolaus was looking up at the starry night was rather mesmerizing. The way that the once clear spectacle was reflecting away the moonlight, it made Benjamin wonder what the man was thinking. He really knew nothing about their own Medic, while he was sure that the Medic knew almost every little bits about him due to the medical records being in his file cabinets.

“W’ot happened to them?”

Benjamin quickly felt as though that he had stepped over the line that he hadn’t stepped over before. There wasn’t much to think about but to quickly apologize, “Y-Y’u don’t have t’ answer, sorry mate, just—ahh…hmm…” He drank down the beer to shut himself up, but when he came to from the sudden drunk of embarrassment, he saw Nikolaus’s eyes upon him along with a vial within his hand.

“Don’t vorry, alzhough I vould recommend taking zhis before going to bed tonight. It is a hangover vial I have given both Demo and Soldat…”

The vial was full of an unknown red concoction, but Benjamin took it and placed it into his vest pocket,

“Thanks mate, ‘am sure this will come in handy.”

“You are velcome, and as for mein mutter und vater, zhey are dead. Zhey vere killed vhen zhe Nazis came to pick me up.”

Nikolaus almost brushed the entire explanation as though that it was a simple subject, it was so simple to him that he pointed at one of the remaining bottles of beer, “May I?” His expression was unchanged, mellow as he had been since the moment he had arrived here.

“Sure you can—um, you’re…Nazi? W’ot?”

Before this night Benjamin wouldn’t have dared to question Nikolaus of his personal histories, but a statement, such as the one he had just heard, was something that was enough to push him well and beyond everything. So when Nikolaus took the bottle and began to uncap it, he was expecting the man to either brush his question away or to even tell him to _fuck off_.

But he didn’t.

Nikolaus took a sip of the beer before wetting his lips to almost collect himself. His eyes were now upon the camp fire, focused as though that he didn’t want the world to interrupt him.

“Like my vater, I was a researcher. I majored in studies where—at the time and still are found _unethical_. Vhen my mutter died of pneumonia and zhen mein vater vent into a deep cycle of depression. He used zhis to help me vith my studies, until he too found zhem unethical and left me to work on my own.”

Benjamin watched as Nikolaus’s hands played with the bottle, tracing it and letting it rotate around within his grasp.

“Vhat I didn’t realize vas zhat my studies vere funded by zhe military. I didn’t question it because I vas very reckless back zhen. Too reckless. Reluctant too. I vouldn’t let zhe military read my research, or even buy me. Vhich is vhy vhen zhe Nazis came and took over, zhey killed my vater and stiefmutter so zhat I vould hand my research and myself to zhem. I vould have razher died zhen give it to zhem.”

 _Stiefmutter_? Benjamin understood the words _vater_ and _mutter_ but he wondered who or what that was. He opened his mouth to speak before hearing Nikolaus let out a soft sigh, his lips curling into yet another mellow smile, “Forgive me, step mother, I sometimes just…mix a little bit of too much basic German…anyvays…zhey got me and…yes, I vork for zhem and before I did somezhing drastic, I got zhe letter to my freedom from zhe BLU.”

The story Nikolaus had just told him was quite saddening, but there was something he couldn’t quite understand. His father and he were estranged, so why would he let his death get to him? Knowing the Nikolaus he knew right now, no matter how reckless he may have been, that pride of his wouldn’t have allowed him to go work for the Nazis. Did the murder of his father and stepmother really change his mind? “…did the murder of y’ur stepmum and dad really give up your life studies? I mean, feels like they had a bait mate…you just told me that you would have rather died…”

“…mein stiefmutter…I met her for the first time vhen she gave birth to my stiefbruder. She was a beautiful and kind voman. My vater didn’t vant me anyvhere near my stiefbruder, but my stiefmutter was much more forgiving. I vould have given my life to save her. She was beautiful. My vater was in his early fifties vhen he married her. She and I vere was almost zhe same age. Beautiful, fair, herrlichen, Engel aus dem Himmel. Sie das Licht meines lebens*. She fixed my view in life…she vas the reason vhy I vas zhinking about changing my studies to somezhing else…”

Nikolaus’s eyes were still locked onto the fire, but his grip upon the bottle had tightened, it was visibly noticeable due to how white his knuckles were. Benjamin began to wonder, maybe asking Nikolaus of this was a bad idea.

“Mate—“

“Vhen she gave birth to my stepbrudder, I prayed to zhe God I didn’t believe in for him to have not zhe jet black hair from our vater but zhe beautiful platinum blond hair from his mutter. So white zhat it vould be zhe counter of zhe ugly darkness.”

Nikolaus paused to close his eyes, almost as if he was trying to remember something. His step mother, maybe? His step brother? He only kept it closed for a brief moment before reopening them, “Vhen he vas born vith zhose platinum locks, I loved him as zhough zhat he vere my own…my vater hated me for it, but it didn’t stop me. My stiefbruder’s eyes vere blue as mine and my vaters, but unlike ours his vas innocent. I felt as zhough zhat a second chance had came down for me, but zhen my vater called me to visit, I knew zhat somezhing vas wrong…he vould never call me villingly…I should have known, but my love for my stiefmutter and stiefbruder vas too blinding. Vhen I arrived, she vas dead. One bullet to zhe head, and zhe Nazi soldier had my vater on his knees. I didn’t care about my vater, but zhe vay zhat they had _him_ …he must have cried so much zhat he fainted. Vhen I saw him in zhat soldier’s hold, I didn’t know vhat to say…I just knew zhat I had to protect him. It vasn’t until zhey executed my vater zhat zhey got my attention.”

“Mate—oi’—‘Am sorry…ah--…”

“Hah…zhey held me down. Zhey had to, my reflex vas quick enough for zhose amateurs. Killed two of zhem before zhey threatened to kill him, vhen I told zhem that if zhey did, I vouldn’t cooperate, zhey took him hostage. I searched years to escape zhat hell. In zhe end I zid. I am here. Just had to get zhe trust from zhe Nazis and get a letter from zhe BLU.”

Benjamin’s eyes widened as he felt a pang in his heart, he felt bad for asking. He shouldn’t have, but he had, and now he knew the harsh story of one he had previously barely known. “’Am, sorry mate, I shouldn’t have asked…I…I’ll shut up now.”

“Don’t be, it vas somezhing I vould have sooner or later gotten off my chest, better now zhen never, ja? But I zhink I vanted to share zhis story vith you before I did vith Spy. Zhat man knows a lot about me but zhat is somezhing, I do not vant to share vith him just yet.”

“W’ot makes you say that? Sharin’ with me, w’ot difference does it make?”

“Some of zhe things you do, reminds me of him. I knew from zhe start zhat he vas special zhe moment I saw his eyes.”  
Nikolaus smiled once again, it was the type of smile which Benjamin would always have the hardest time reading. What was this man thinking? What else had he done? What was exactly hiding behind that smile of his? “Vell! Zhank you for zhe beer, I hope zhat your hangover does not mess you up in zhe field tomorrow.” Nikolaus took a stand and placed his almost fully filled beer bottle back into the case, dusting his coat and preparing to head back to their base. Benjamin, however, couldn’t help but to stop him, “W’ot happened t’ y’ur brother? Y’ur stepbrother.”

Nikolaus, for the first time that night, seemed off guard. His eyes widened with a stiffened expression, Benjamin only watched the lump on his neck bob, “He’s dead. I vill see you later, Sniper.” Nikolaus was off, making his way swiftly back towards the base and leaving Benjamin behind. He could tell that the distance between the two suddenly grew with the last question, every other ones only resulted in a deepening of sort but the last one was strong enough to get a cold shoulder. Nikolaus even went back to addressing him as _Sniper_. From the way that their conversation had ended, he didn’t know if they had become friends or just further apart.

…  
“Platinum…hair…blue…eyes…” These couldn’t be of coincidence, and he couldn’t help but to realize that this was much bigger than the _plan_ Nikolaus had left behind just before his _death_. Benjamin’s ears began to ring as he began to stick the puzzles he knew together. Special eyes, reminded Nikolaus of things that _he_ , Benjamin, did. Everything was adding inside his head and at the verge of himself choking out the answer, his eyes saw it in front of him.

“Is everyzhing alright, Herr Sniper?”

 

_Translation:  
_

*magnificent, angel from the heavens. She was the light of my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays to you, and I hope that you like this update. I am sorry that I throw very little hints of Wilhelm's life, but if I gave away too much, then it wouldn't have that mystery-esque feel. I kind of wanted everything to build up step by step. This chapter is a huge step from Wilhelm's unknown life, even though that it was really vague to the end. I also wanted to share that: no, I will not be involving the real Original (old) cast of the Team Fortress 2. In this fanfic, the _originals_ are the present ones who just haven't aged to the specialty of the Respawn. Again, I wish you all wonderful holidays! Thank you for reading yet another chapter!


	9. Love, Lust, Hate, Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do you do when you love? What do you do when you lust? What do you do when you hate? What do you do when you desire? What do you do when one person is the target of all four verbs? Something was planted when Nikolaus joined Mann Co, and it has sprouted into a disgusting form for Wilhelm to take.

The match ended with the BLU winning by two points. It was a close one, but they had made it with a victory. This caused the BLU to have a party, not that everyone was in the partying mood. Wilhelm had gotten together with Yuri to have a drinking contest against their Scout and Demoman. It was a strange pairing, but both Yuri and Tavish had a high tolerance to alcohol, unlike Wilhelm and the Scout who were tipsy by their third shot.

The party was a big one, and they all knew that they were going to have a terrible hang over, but it was okay because they were having fun for the night.

“…you a’right there, Partner?”

While everyone else was having fun in the bar John had stepped outside the patio to take a breath of the cool air, who else to follow but their Engineer, Dell.

“You’ve done a mighty good job on givin’ our new Doc a haircut.” Dell knew John’s signatures for his haircuts because he too had gotten one from the man just as soon as they were hired, “Shaved from the nape of his neck, I knew it had to be yours. Bet you were reluctant to cut it off.”

John was looking down at the wooden railing before him, his hands rested firmly upon it, “…he wanted it, couldn’t reject him.”

“Don’t worry about if, Ah’m sure that he wouldn’t mind.”

Dell’s goggles were faced upon John’s white knuckles. They knew that their time was almost up, and that things were going to get out of hand. The last step was to wait for the sign, but no one knew when the it was going to appear.

“Y’know, last time I saw Nikolaus, he was doin’ fine. He told me that he missed you.”

“…”

If John knew one thing, he knew that both Dell and Jacque knew the most about this _plan_. This plan had eventually become a game as the RED team began to retaliate. He may have not known much about what was going on, but this much he knew: the RED Medic was going to come for Wilhelm.

_John…do me a favor…vhen Wilhelm comes, do vhat I failed to do…protect him._

Those bloodied hands, tear filled eyes, John had never seen Nikolaus broken until the day he died. He couldn’t protect Nikolaus back then, but another chance had finally arrived for him to do what he had failed to do in the past. It was a _favor_ and he took it to his heart as a promise.

Dell flinched as John smashed his fist onto the wooden railing, breaking it process.

“Woah Partner, it’s not like I didn’t want to tell ya but—“

“Is that you up there, Aussie?”

There was a reason that John was a Soldier, he knew his surroundings. It had taken him awhile, but when he had smashed his now bloodied and splinter filled fist through the wooden railing, he had felt a slight thud over his head. Guessing from his reaction earlier today at the end of the match, and his absence in the bar, John knew that it had to be the Australian.

“Shit.”  
Dell muttered as he placed his gloved hand over his mouth. He stood in silence as Benjamin jump down to look over at the two.

Dell, John, and Jacque had done their best to keep this under the hood, only telling the rest of the BLUs of a plan that was going to help them make immense amount of money. That was only the small piece to a massive jigsaw puzzle that was going to be formed upon a big proud frame. The fact that Dell was carelessly talking about Nikolaus, due to his _excitement_ , was too unprofessional on his end.

“Truckie…” Dell muttered.

“W’ot’s goin’ on. It would be nice of y’u two to share, why this one isn’t a clone like th’ rest of them an’ instead is Nikolaus’s brother.”

John stood strong as Dell approached the solemn looking Benjamin before them.

“…We think, it’s time you talk to the real mastermind behind this here pla--.”

“No.”

Dell’s froze upon John’s disagreement, followed by a dry lump in his throat from the tension building around him,  
“John, he knows.”

Benjamin’s eyes were hidden behind the aviators and the darkness beyond the railing, but it wasn’t as hidden was the way John glared back at him from the shadows of his helmet. It wasn’t that John didn’t like Benjamin, but the fact that he acted as though that he knew what was going on was what really vexed him.

“No he doesn’t. He doesn’t know shit of this mission. He thinks he does, but he doesn’t. You’re a god damn bratty little maggot for thinking you know anything about what is going on.”

“’Am smart enough t’know that—that Medic in there isn’t a bloody clone! Y’u know what happened to the last of the nine clones, r’oight? Or did y’u two forget. Th’t bloody RED Bastard killed them. All of them. Ripped them from limb from limb, skewered them, blew them up—you fuckin’ name it, he’s done it.”

“That won’t happen to Wilhelm.”

“OH YEAH?! W’OT BLOODY MAKES YOU SO SURE?! HUH!? Y’U USELESS NUT JOB! Y’U’RE TH’ REASON WHY NIKOLAUS IS DEAD!”

Benjamin began to bare his teeth, barking at John before he was tackled by the man who had once been standing behind the wooden railing at least ten feet away. The grip upon the collar seemed humongous from just how skinny and lanky Benjamin was. When size came down to comparison, John was bigger due to his well built muscles; meanwhile Benjamin was fit in a way that he was balanced in body fat for his height.

He felt the dirt below him breeze up as the bigger man straddled over him and breathed close to his ear,

“…I am the very reason…why Nikolaus is still alive. You koala fucking stick man…”

The breath against his ear began to heat as John raised his bloodied fist into the air to punch Benjamin in the face, only to feel a leather glove upon it. Jacque wasn’t about to have this commotion attract the attentions of those _innocent_ drunks in the bar,

“…John, you’re quite reckless.”

“Shut up, Jack.”

John refused to call Jacque by his French name and always had called him Jack when he wasn’t calling him: Spy, Snake, Frenchie, or even Snail. That aside, Jacque found his eyes upon Benjamin who now was looking at him as though that he had been friendly stabbed in the back.

“What is the problem--?”

“HE’S BEIN’ RECKLESS?! W’OT ABOUT Y’U?! Y’U AN’ Y’UR CARELESS BLOODY PERSONALITY, y’u let th’ enemy Spy get their grubby little hands on y’ur cigarette.”

Jacque always had his way of keeping himself calm in any sorts of situations, but he was never like the professional Spy his brother, Jean, had once been. His hands were off and away from the Soldier, making his distance away from the outside and back into the bar. The bar where Wilhelm and the others were celebrating.

“…Oh non.”

Or had been celebrating.

The Scout, Demoman, and the Heavy were still present, but Wilhelm was of nowhere to be found. He had kept his eyes on the young drunken Medic of theirs all night until the ruckus began outside. He felt his fist shake as he felt the rapid fear rising from deep within his chest cavities. What if that bastard of a RED Spy was here and had taken their Medic away? What if he was already dead? Jacque couldn’t handle failing, especially if it mean that he was going to fail Wilhelm. He didn’t want that. This was a mission, but it was more than a mission or a plan for Jacque. Wilhelm was more than that, and he had been waiting for all this to blow over for almost a decade. He couldn’t lose him—

“What is wrong with Spy? Is Spy not feeling well? Is Spy looking for Doktor?”

Yuri, their Heavy, was looking him with caution. The man had never seen him so lost before and the that must have triggered the question of is search for their dearly beloved Medic.

“Yes, have you seen him?”

“Da. There.”

He pointed at a booth stationed couple feet away from their current position. Jacque didn’t pause to think for even a moment and found himself swiftly making his way towards it. There he saw Wilhelm, asleep and well tucked under Heavy’s huge vest. Normally he wouldn’t have missed this, but the panic was all too real. If the RED Spy was indeed walking around the field with his cigarette scent embedded on him, then how much further had he gone with it? This was too dangerous, and it felt as though that this was entirely his fault.

“I’ll take ze Medic back to ze infirmary.”

Jacque leaned over to help Wilhelm sit up, placing Yuri’s vest on the table while he scooped him up into his arms. Wilhelm’s head lazed into Jacque’s shoulder and neck, Jacque couldn’t help but to feel the familiarity of this situation. _Oh yes, it has happened before._

As Jacque exited the bar, he made his way to the van. Dell followed behind, being the designated driver, but flinched upon the following statement, “Y’u think that y’u still deserve to protect him? After fuckin’ up?!” Benjamin made his way pass Dell and reached out to grab a hold of Jacque’s collar, but it didn’t happen.

John had gotten a hold of Benjamin’s wrist and twisted it to have the rest of his arm pinned around and upon the back so that it could be used to plant the now vexed face against the van. “…do you think that I’ll allow your lusty hands touch him again? I didn’t care about the clones…I held back on the clones…but if I find out that you touched Wilhelm again. I will kill you.”

The van began to hum as Dell started it while Jacque made sure that he and Wilhelm were safe in the back. Benjamin gave out a chuckle and relaxed in the hold, “… w’ot…y’u tryin’ to tell me that y’u love him or something…?”

Everyone around fell silent, the only sound being the van’s humming. It wasn’t something that was of secret when John was openly attracted to Nikolaus. The only problem was, Nikolaus wasn’t interested in John in the same way. He was a friend, and everyone watched as the two were _friended_ and nothing further. Dell knew how much John cared, loved, longed, and wanted Nikolaus, but the man knew that it was never going to happen. So he took the next possible thing, doing his best to protect the man he loved, but he _failed_.

_It was truly a desire that seemed to be always out of his reach._

“I’m just doing a good friend a favor.”

John freed Benjamin and walked around to take a seat in the passenger’s side, “Let’s go.” Dell looked at the lone man outside the van for a brief moment, watching to make sure he was of safe distance from the van to take the passengers back to the base.

Benjamin wasn’t sure if he _loved_ Wilhelm, but he knew that he couldn’t bear watching him so close to a Spy. The sound of the dirt wisping around along with the distant sound of the rest of the mercenaries having the time of their life, made him fall into a void. He wanted Wilhelm. He needed Wilhelm. He wanted to take Wilhelm as his own and keep him away from that slimy hand. The way Jacque held him as though the he knew him, always pretending to know everything—well he was sure that he knew nothing about Wilhelm. He was going to rip Wilhelm away from that snake’s hold, not matter what it took.

“Well…mon cher, aren’t we in a bit of a…troubled situation?”

“You best get your arse out of here…”

The RED Spy, Julien, uncloaked beside Benjamin’s side. He knew what the man wanted, and vice versa. Benjamin feared in the back of his head of what the enemy Spy wanted, but he wanted it to happen. _He wanted the man to help him get Wilhelm_.

“I’ve watched you since Nikolaus…lusting after him and the rest of ze Medics…zey all have ze um… je ne sais quoi…it could be zat zey are all related to one person.”

“I’m listening.”

Julien’s smile was haunting, but Benjamin knew what the man had told him was all true. He had lusted over Nikolaus from a far, and eventually got close enough to be with Klaus—only to watch him die. Now that he knew that Wilhelm was special, he felt as though that he could build something very special with him. He must _have_ Wilhelm.

“Zat…is what I wanted to hear from you.”

 _A chance. A pawn_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the title while listening to 30 Seconds to Mars's "Conquistador". I honestly listen to that song a lot and think about this fanfic. I would also like to apologize of how long it took to update it. I hope I still have readers. I can never see myself of even having readers. I always think they are bots. My self-esteem is too low to really accept anything good...

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic is not dead, I wanted to post this before people believe that I am killing it. It is not and I will update it when the chapters are ready. I just hope that those who are here for the ride is willing to stay with me, if not than I hope that there are new riders on the way. Reviews would be of most delight, comments too are of course of the most delight, the fact that there are signs of people reading this fanfic to this day really gives a good knock on my noggin. I am also sure that many people clicked this fanfic due to certain tags, sadly most of them has not surfaced, but they will eventually take place. I hope that you enjoy my very first fanfic as we all ride these ships. Thank you for reading, and if you didn't enjoy it--I am very sorry; however, I won't be taking the fanfic down.


End file.
